The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Troy Donahue is Phillip P. Phillips, a man studying to become a pastor in Yucca Flats when a gang called The Terrible Seven shows up.

The sheriff takes one look at the gang and deputizes Phil. He takes another look and decides it might be a great time to vacation in Pasadena. So he pins a sheriff’s badge on Phil as well.

And the Terrible Seven are in a terrible mood because the bank safe in Yucca Flats is nearly empty. Turns out there was a mix-up and the delivery of gold wound up in Mesa Flats instead.

Still, gang leader Cold Steel (German Robles) decides to declare himself mayor and take over the town. And when the new sheriff and the townsfolk run them out, they return. On the very day Phil is marrying pretty Margie Jones (Sabrina).

This time, Phil winds up with a bullet in his forehead. But he’s hoping Saint Peter is understanding and allows him to return to earth.

Because as he was leaving, the Terrible Seven were taking Sabrina captive.

Troy Donahue as Phillip P. Phillips, ready for a showdown in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Sabrina as Margie Jones tries to prevent a bank robbery in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Review:

Guarantee you’ve never seen a Western like this. It plays like a cartoon, with the plot merely a device to pile silliness upon silliness upon more silliness, often with the action speeded up for good measure.

So we have a saloon girl who carries around a bottle of milk, a gang member equipped with boomerang frying pans, a showdown with broom sticks and a hero who dons a suit of armor at one point.

For a few minutes, it all makes for a unique viewing experience. For 90 minutes? Well, it all grows more than a wee bit tiresome when nothing you see on screen can be taken the least bit seriously.

In addition to Robles, the gang members are played by Carlos Riva, Pedro Armendariz Jr., Felix Gonzalez, Raul Perez Prieto, Tun Tun and Elizabeth Campbell.

German Robles as Cold Steel with Phillip P. Philips at gunpoint in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Pedro Armendariz Jr. as Algernon Brains Brawn, trying to pass himself of as just another bank customer in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Directed by:
Albert Zugsmith

Cast:
Troy Donahue … Phillip P. Phillips
Sabrina … Margie Jones
Elizabeth Campbell … Cookie
Emilio Fernandez … Sheriff
Carlos Rivas … Big Sam
German Robles … Cold Steel
Pedro Armendariz Jr. … Algernon “Brains” Brawn
Felix Gonzalez … Three-Gun Boone
Raul Perez Prieto … Whip
Rene Ruiz … Oscar the Mooch
as Tun Tun
Ana Martin … Honey
Stim Segar … Parson
as Stillman Segar
Candy Raymond … Blacksmith
Billy Frick … Banker
Carlos Riqueime … Yucca Flats mayor
Other credit cast members: Manuel Alvarado, Brigida Angeles, Victorio Blanco, Ellen Cole, Victor Eberg, Julie Janssen, Enrique Reyes

Runtime: 99 min.

Carlos Rivas as Big Sam in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Tun Tun as Oscar the Mooch wants Margie Jones (Sabrina) to tell him why there’s so little money in the bank at Yucca Flats in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Memorable lines:

Phillip: “They never taught us how to handle a situation like this at the theological seminary.”

Phillip, rejecting Saint Peter’s invitation to pass through the pearly gates: “I’m not quite finished on earth.”
St. Peter, noting the bullet hole in Phil’s forehead: “You look quite finished to me, lad.”

Elizabeth Campbell as Cookie reveals her true identity to Phillip P. Phillips in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Felix Gonalez as Three-Gun Boone prepares to use his guns in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Phillip, waking up in a coffin: “The beds were never this hard at divinity school.”

“Brain” Barnes as Cookie raises his frying pan: “Next man who shows disrespect for the deceased gets a skillet!”

Cookie, who’d been posing as The Terrible Seven’s male cook, to Phillip: “Ever since I saw you at your funeral I figured I’d change sexes again.”

Emilio Fernandez as the sheriff who decides the time is right for a vacation in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Ana Martin as saloon girl Honey in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Chief Rain in the Face offers the sheriff a deal, with interest, in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

German Robles as Cold Steel declares himself mayor of Yucca Flats in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Sabrina as Margie Jones, being questioned at knifepoint in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Troy Donahue asking Saint Peter for a second chance on earth in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Ana Martin as Honey points out the odds the sheriff is facing in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)

Troy Donahue as Phillip P. Phillips and Felix Gonzalez as Three-Gun Boone meet on the way to the after-life in The Phantom Gunslinger (1970)