A Talent for Loving (1969)

Richard Widmark is Major Patten, a man whose luck at the gambling table wins him 1,500 prime acres of land south of the border in Mexico.

And that brings him in contact with rich landowner Don Pedro (Cesar Romero), who sees Patten as a possible answer to his prayers.

He needs a strong, rich man to marry his daughter Maria (Fran Jeffries), who’s never been alone with a man, but who is starting to twitch uncontrollably.

That’s likely the result of an Aztec curse placed on the family many years ago. Seems one of Don Pedro’s ancestors accompanied the explorer Cortez.

And fueled by eating boiled iguana, he managed to defile 634 Aztec maidens in 11 months and 14 days, angering a priest who put a curse on the family.

The result: Each descendant’s first carnal experience will unleash an unsatiable appetite for loving.

Patten agrees to marry Maria, but it’s a doomed union thanks to that blessed curse. She winds up running off with four Hungarian acrobats, but not before giving his a daughter Evalina.

Flash forward many years, and Patten is living a happy life of luxury on the land he inherited from Don Pedro, with second wife Delphine (Genevieve Page), a former friend of Maria by his side.

But trouble is brewing. Evalina (Caroline Munro) is due home from the convent. Sure enough, she’s starting to twitch. And Patten has two adopted sons — Jim and Benito — eager to learn as much about love as they know about ranching.

Meanwhile, Patten’s inheritance also included a large stash of weapons. The brings a second problem because a revolutionary leader named Gen. Molina (Topol) and an Indian chief want those guns.

Review:

A fairly enjoyable comedy Western filled with pretty faces that you’ll probably appreciate more if you consider the slapstick Trinity-like Spaghetti comedies that would soon flood the market.

Today, you’ll find the film under the video release title “Gun Crazy,” but the emphasis is certainly more on loving than on guns. And forget about a love triangle, we’re talking love sextet here.

Let’s see, Molina wants to marry off daughter Florita to Patten’s adopted son Benito so he can find out the location of those stashed weapons. Benito takes one look at pretty Florita and doesn’t object.

Meanwhile, pretty blonde Marlyn Ridgeway has arrived from the East to study beef production. She takes one look at Patten’s other adopted son, Jim, and adds him to the list of stock she’ll study.

Problem is, Patten figures the best future for Evalina would be marriage to one of those already love-stricken adopted sons. So he organizes a “great cowboy race” to decide which son will win Evalina’s hand in marriage.

That was partly the idea of a traveling salesman named Moodie. He’s been bitten by the love bug too.

Directed by:
Richard Quine

Cast:
Richard Widmark … Major Patten
Topol … Gen. Molina
Genevieve Page … Delphine
Cesar Romero … Don Pedro
Caroline Munro … Evalina
Fran Jeffries … Maria
Derek Nimmo … Moodie
Max Showalter … Franklin
Joe Melia … Tortillaw
John Bluthal … Martinelli
Libby Morris … Jacaranda
Mircha Carven … Benito
Judd Hamilton … Jim
Marie Rogers … Marylyn
Janet Sorti … Florita
Milo Quesada … Don Patricio

aka:
Talento por amor
Gun Crazy

Music: Ken Thorne

Memorable lines:

Major Patten, after winning a card game: “Well, looks like I won 1,500 acres somewhere around here.”
Gen. Molina: “Think of it as a very large plot to bury such a small man.”

Major Patten, explaining his first name: “It’s an old family tradition, calculated that proper naming could give a boy a head start in life.”

Don Pedro: “I have hidden away an enormous number of firearms. It’s my belief that the more I collect, the fewer there will be for others to use.”

Don Pedro, offering his daughter as the prize in a game of poker: “Fair bet?”
Major Patten: “I’m not sure. I haven’t figured it out yet.”

Don Pedro’s dying advice to Major Patten about his daughter Maria, who has run off with circus performers on another amorous adventure: “Let her go, Major. You’re a good man. But you’re no match for four Hungarian acrobats.”

Major Patten, anticipating Evalina’s return home from the convent: “I wonder if there’s enough of me in her to weaken the curse?”
Delphine, his second wife: “Well, if I’m any judge darling, it will be stronger than ever.”

Marilyn Ridgeway: “I care not who writes my nation’s hymns if I may breed it’s beef.”
Jim Patten: “That’s one of the finest things I ever heard a woman say.”

Trivia:

This marked just the third credited role for lovely Caroline Munro. She met Judd Hamilton on the set and they were indeed married in real life, from 1970 to 1982.

This film was a U.S./U.K. co-production, made by the same production company (Walter Shenson Films) that brought the world the two Beatles films (“A Hard Day’s Night” in 1964 and “Help” in 1965). Filming was done in Spain.

The movie was never released theatrically in the U.S. It wound up premiering as an ABC TV Movie in the spring of 1974.

IMDb lists a runtime of 110 minutes; the print released to video and now available on DVD runs about 93 minutes.