Somebody has robbed the Peabody stagecoach and taken $1,200 in bonds belonging to a man named Robert.
So Robert’s been rounding up outlaws and hanging them by the ankles from the entry gate to his ranch.
And they’ll remain hanging there, upside down, until someone confesses and get the bonds back to “the hangman.”
Those hanging from the gate include small-time crook Thomas Jane, his friend Barry and a newcomer who identifies himself as Michael Goodnight and insists he isn’t an outlaw.
Thomas, known as Catfish for his ability to wriggle out of jams, has actually been wriggling free of his noose on a nightly basis, then returning and hanging himself again before Barry returns to check on his prisoners.
Once guaranteed he won’t be killed if the bonds resurface, Catfish reveals their location. All three men are set free.
They head into the Colorado mountains where Michael says he and his partners are working a mine.
In truth, Michael’s name is Hiram Frost, an outlaw with 14 notches on his gun. And he leads a notorious gang of outlaws.
And on one of those nightly excursions, Catfish stole $300 belonging to Hiram while the killer was hanging upside down.
Seems Catfish has wriggled his way into a jam worse than the one he just escaped.
Mike Hansen as Catfish, the man who can squirm or talk his way out of almost any problem in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Raphael Sikic as Hiram Frost, revealing his true identity as a cold-blooded killer in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Review:
Well, you’ve never seen a Western like this one.
Three main characters spend the first 34 minutes of the film hanging upside down.
One of the outlaws has a fondness for violating the bodies of recently dead males. Another thinks he’s a dog.
The result is a low-budget film that will hold your attention. Heck, it might even make you forget it’s such a low-budget endeavor.
One reason: Everyone who shows up on film seems comfortable and at home in front of a camera. And there are a couple of other surprises I won’t spoil here.
Ryon Thomas as Robert, ‘the hangman,’ trying to recover his bonds in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Tatienne Hendricks-Tellefsen as Karolina, trying to explain the size of the moon to husband Robert in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Directed by:
Mike Hansen
Cast:
Mike Hansen … Thomas Jane, aka Catfish
Raphael Sikic … Hiram Frost
Ryon Thomas … Robert the Hangman
Austin Cohen … Barry
Tommy Dadmun … Boris
Andy Dus … Josiah Franklin
Jedidia Dyer … Big Dickie
Tatienne Hendricks Tellefsen … Karolina
Joseph Hurford-Reynolds … Tumi the Dogboy
Dave Stearns … Sheriff Billy Rawlins
Runtime: 102 min.
Andy Dus as Josiah Franklin, prepared to take another life if the sheriff shows up in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Joseph Huford-Reynolds as Tumi the Dogboy, a member of the outlaw gang in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Memorable lines:
Karolina to her husband Robert: “There’s something crawling around outside.”
She takes a better look.
Karolina, now alarmed: “Jesus Christ. It’s a person.”
Karolina, locked in a mine with Catfish: “You must have some plan.”
Catfish: “I never have a plan. I just improvise.”
Catfish, still hanging upside down: “You ready for the big reveal. The bonds are in a basket, hanging on your front porch.”
Robert: “That’s not even funny.”
Catfish, when Hiram goes to feed his guests and pulls a six-gun from a sack of beans: “Nope. Just the beans, thank you.”
Hiram: “Don’t listen to him. He’s a trickster.”
Catfish: “With all due respect, I have no interest in mischief. I act deliberately.”
Hiram: “Yeah. Slipping out of one fix straight to another.”
Catfish: “Yeah. That’s how it tends to go.”
Raphael Sikic as Hiram, Austin Cohen as Barry and Mike Hansen as Catfish, the three hanging men in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Austin Cohen as Barry, Catfish’s friend, explaining why he isn’t bitter about hanging upside down for so long in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Tommy Dadmun as Boris, the man who really robbed the Peabody stage and picked up a new drug in town in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Dave Stearns as Sheriff Billy Rawlins, trying to track down Catfish for offenses committed againt an offended saloon girl in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Jedidia Dyer as Big Dickie, an elderly man who collects debts and is hard of hearing in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
Mike Hansen as Catfish, finding his mineshaft cell difficult to escape in All Men Are Wicked (2023)
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