Daniel Craig is Jake Lonergan, a gunman who wakes up in the desert, a wound in his side, a strange iron band around one wrist and no memory of who he is or how he got there. But he’s recognized as a wanted outlaw by Sheriff John Tagger (Keith Carradine).
That’s how Lonergan winds up in jail alongside spoiled rancher’s son Percy Dolarhyde. And that’s how they wind up inside a prison wagon when the demons of the West show up for the first time – aliens in flying machines, swooping down on the town to lasso new human specimens for their experiments.
In the course of the attack, Percy Dolarhyde is snatched up. So is the sheriff. So is the pretty wife of a saloon owner known as Doc. But Lonergan also discovers that band on his wrist can serve as a weapon, capable of bringing down those flying machines.
And that means he’ll be leading the party that sets out to find the aliens and rescue the townsfolk. Along for the ride is the sheriff’s grandson Emmett, a lovely and mysterious young woman named Alice (Abigail Spencer) and set-in-his-ways cattle king Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford).
With the Western on life support, what does it need? Perhaps some modernizing by tossing in some sci-fi, some gnarly-looking creatures from somewhere out there and lots of way-beyond-the-West special effects.
Or maybe not.
Parts of this movie are not bad, and Western fans will probably just be thrilled to see a big-budget film with some cowboys, some Indians and some horses. But please don’t think about the plot.
Did I mention these aliens crave gold more than the 49ers? In one breath, we’re told they view humans as little more than insects. Yet they’re scooping them up for closer examination. And just how does Alice know her way around the interior of the alien spacecraft? Her family was abducted on some other planet, not here.
Then comes the ending, which is chock full of final showdown clichés like you’d see in old Westerns, not new ones. Mortal enemies take turns saving one another. The greenhorn finally hits a target at just the right time. A young boy proves he’s a man. After that, if you don’t groan out loud when Lonergan comes face to face with his alien arch nemesis, you’ve shown remarkable restraint.
Directed by:
Jon Favreau
Cast:
Daniel Craig .. Jake Lonergan
Abigail Spencer … Alice
Keith Carradine … Sheriff John Taggart
Harrison Ford … Woodrow Dolarhyde
Paul Dano … Percy Dolarhyde
Adam Beach … Nat Colorado
Sam Rockwell … Doc
Noah Ringer … Emmett Taggart
Clancy Brown … Meacham / Preacher
Raoul Trujillo … Black Knife
Buck Taylor … Web Claiborne
Ana de la Reguera … Maria
Brian Duffy … Deputy
Olivia Wilde … Ella Swenson
Runtime: 119 min.
Memorable lines:
Preacher: “Only two kinds of men get shot – criminals and victims. Well, which one are ya?”
Jake: “I don’t know.”
Alice, as the posse sets out: “If it’s all the same, I’d like to ride along, too.”
Preacher: “Yes, ma’am. We’ve got a kid and a dog. Why not a woman?”
Doc: “I don’t know much about boats, but I’d say that one’s upside down.”
Dolarhyde: “And 500 miles from any river big enough to hold it.”
Doc, indicating Preacher’s grave: “ Wait. Aren’t we gonna say some words over him?”
Dolarhyde: “Only one who knows what to say is in the ground. Ain’t it enough we took the time to put him there?”
Pat Dolan, a gang member, interrogating Jake about missing loot: “So, I’m gonna ask you one last time. Where is it, Jake?”
Jake Lonergan: “Demons.”
Pat Dolan: “What’s that?”
Jake Lonergan: “Demons took your gold. When you get to hell, you can ask for it back.”