Damsel (2018)

Robert Pattinson is Samuel Alabaster, who has arrived in the West in search of Penelope, the love of his life.

She’s been kidnapped and dragged off into the wild by a scoundrel named Anton Cornell, who has a no-account brother named Rufus.

And just so no time is wasted once the rescue is complete, Samuel’s taking along the reluctant and heavy-drinking Parson Henry (David Zellner) to tie the knot, on the spot.

Heck, Samuel’s even bringing along a miniature horse named Butterscotch as a wedding gift. And a guitar so he can serenade Penelope with “Honeybuns,” the song he wrote in her honor.

But once they reach their destination, Parson Henry is in for quite a surprise.

Penelope (Mia Wasikowska) wasn’t kidnapped; she’s been living a happy life with Anton as her lover.

She also a quite plucky young woman, with a violent streak once angered. And Samuel has certainly triggered that anger.

Robert Pattinson as Samuel Alabaster spots trouble across the river in Damsel (2018)

Mia Wasikowska as Penelope, wondering what’s next in Damsel (2018)

Review:

An offbeat Western with a superb opening and some brilliant moments of dark comedy sprinkled throughout.

Unfortunately, it’s also overlong and rather pointless, since there’s no reason to care what happens to any of these character. Not ever Butterscotch, the miniature horse.

Both of the directing Zellner brothers have roles in the film — David most noteably as the Parson Henry, Nathan in a smaller role as Rufus.

Among the best scenes: Grief stricken Penelope sits the pastor astride the miniature horse, puts a noose around his neck and strings dynamite around his shoulders.

She, of course, has the detonator.

David Zellner as Parson Henry, considering a violent option in Damsel (2018)

Nathan Zellner as Rufus Cornell, ready to replace his brother as Penelope’s lover in Damsel (2018)

Directed by:
David Zellner, Nathan Zellner

Cast:
Robert Pattinson … Samuel Alabaster
Mia Wasikowska … Penelope
David Zellner … Parson Henry
Nathan Zellner … Rufus Cornell
Joseph Billingiere … Zachariah Running Bear
Gary Brookins … Sheriff
Gabe Casdorph … Anton Cornell

Runtime: 113 min.

Robert Forster as a tired preacher with a warning about the West in Damsel (2018)

Joseph Billingiere as Zachariah Running Bear, rescuing a damsel in Damsel (2018)

Memorable lines:

Old preacher: “I came out here to spoon-feed religion to the savages. I tried real hard. Tried real hard. They didn’t want it. At least the ones I dealt with. Can’t blame ’em. We’ve got a lot of Christians. Don’t need no more.”

Old preacher to young traveler who’s heading West for a fresh start: “I hate to break it to you, but it ain’t gonna be no better out here. Things are going to be shitty in new and fascinatin’ ways.”

Samuel Alabaster: “You gave me mixed signals.”
Penelope: “I gave you no signals. You’re poison. I should shoot you in the fucking head.”

Penelope to Parson Henry: “Put your dynamite back on.”
Samuel Alabaster, whispering to his horse: “I don’t want to wear by dynamite.”

Rufus Cornell: “Head cracked open. Ants tried to eat my blood. God damned ants. What’d I ever do to them.”

Penelope: “Are you really a preacher?”
Parson Henry: “Not in the conventional sense. But my heart’s in the right place.”

David Zellner as Pastor Henry, wondering what he’s gotten himself into in Damsel (2018)

Nathan Zellner as Rufus Cornell, ready to eliminate and enemy in Damsel (2018)

Robert Pattinson as Samuel Alabaster keeps his hired pastor in line in Damsel (2018)

Mia Wasikoska as Penelope finds herself in another tight spot in Damsel (2018)

Butterscotch, the wedding present in Damsel (2018)