Phillip Alford is Teddy, a young man traveling West to visit his uncle in the town of Fairplay.
His uncle runs a spa for elderly gents near a hot spring. Or so Teddy’s been told.
In truth, F.O. McGill (Paul Ford) owns the Fairhaven Hotel, a haven for outlaws looking to hide from the law.
And he has four mostly inept gunmen in his employ, just in case his long-running feud with Jova Purvis (Robert Middleton) turns into a shooting war.
Teddy’s eager for such Old West excitement. Besides, he figures there are plenty of new animals out West on which to practice his taxidermy skills.
And his interest is certainly piqued by Pearlie Purvis (Barbara Hancock), the pretty daughter of his uncle’s rival.
Meanwhile, general store owner Skinner Bindleshft (Paul Glaser) would like a bigger share of the money being made around Fairplay.
So he has his assistant make a facsimile Gatling gun, knowing he’ll be able to sell it to McGill or Purvis, both of whom will be eager to get the upper hand in the feud.
A comedy Western that’s both amateurish and silly and, in the end, not very funny.
Oh, you’ll chuckle occasionally. Like when gunman Utah Bravos straps on McGill’s new secret weapon, a belt buckle with a derringer inside. A thrust of the hips, and the derringer pops out to claim its prey.
Except it doesn’t work very well. So Utah winds up chasing a Jova Purvis around, thrusting his hips in his direction harder and harder while the baffled Purvis dashes for cover.
But there’s also a gunsmith who dreams of living in Paris and an Indian who’s part Hungarian and loves to play violin.
Plus an old-timer who still thinks he’s at sea and gives McGill a heads up whenever someone approaches Fairplay from a pretend ship’s helm.
In skilled hands, those characters could have produced some genuine laughs. Here, it just comes off as silliness piled atop more silliness.
Speaking of unskilled hands, this was one of only three films directed by James A. Sullivan.
Directed by:
James A. Sullivan
Cast:
Paul Ford … F.O. McGill
Robert Middleton .. Jova Purvis
Terry Wilson … Utah Brazos
Paul Glaser … Skinner Bindleshaft
Phillip Alford … Teddy
Barbara Hancock … Pearlie Purvis
Charlie Dell … Billy Joe Purvis
Bill Thurman … Jed Bartrum
Richard Webb … Preacher
Hugh Feagin … Gimp Murphy
Boyce Blackman … Cain Purvis
Norris Dominique … Running Eagles
Paul Bertoya … Raul
Bill McGhee … Jefferson Washington
Dave Hanson … Elmer Purvis
Sadie French … Ma Purvis
Don Wyse … Scar
Ethan Allen … Captain Bob
Desmond Dhooge … Sheriff Oakes
Helena Humann … Sister Lucindia
Mark Clyce … Johnny McGill
Runtime: 83 min.
Memorable lines:
F.O. McGill, of his plight: “Four third-rate gunfighters and one crazy sailor I have to play ship with.”
F.O. McGill, of a dead thief: “He rode in here this morning and collasped on my doorstep. Heart attack, I reckon.”
Sheriff Oakes, examining the body: “Maybe this bullet hole has something to do with his heart attack.”
Jova Purvis: “Billy Joe, get to the mine. Summon your brothers, Cain and Elmer. We are going to ride down on that Republican, Mr. Skinner Bindleshaft. We shall return his miserable $48 case of orange marmalade. Oh, we have been silent too long.”
Pearlie Pervis to taxidermist Teddy, as he examine a dead man’s body: “Is that one of the guys who ran off with the offering last Sunday? Are you gonna stuff him?”
VERY NICE LOOKING!!!, GLASSES AND ALL!!!