Guns and Guts (1974)

Rogelio Guerra plays an escaped prisoner with the law on his trail.

He has one thing in mind: Getting even with the business partner who framed him for murder.

Pedro Armendariz Jr. plays a man who’s wife has been stolen by another man. He wants vengeance too.

And it turns out the two are seeking the same man.

Jorge Rivero is a guman who cares for two things: money and whores.

He dreams of the day that he’ll have so much of the former that he’ll be able to settle down on a ranch with his four “kittens” and have them all to himself.

Hiring out his gun to the escaped prisoner and the abandoned husband might get him a bit closer to that goal.

So the three set out for the man they’re seeking.

Their job won’t be easy. Turns out he’s now the sheriff of Sante Fe, living in what amounts to a fortress with a whole band of deputies to do his bidding.

Jorge Rivero as El Pistolero, the gunman who sells his services to the highest bidder in Guns and Guts (1974)

Rogelio Guerra as the escaped prisoner, looking to get even with a double-crossing partner in Guns and Guts (1974)

Review:

Was someone joking? Was this a spoof of a Spaghetti Western?

Nope, just a really, really bad movie, made south of the border.

In the English version, none of the characters have names. They are asked to spout some of the silliest lines you’ll find in a Western.

There’s a bit of nudity. There’s lots and lots of spurting blood. Once the gunfire starts.

Of course, that doesn’t happen until the 30-minute mark.

Up until then, our “heroes” simply wind up in one fistfight after the other, for no apparent reason.

Pedro Armendariz Jr. as the husband on the trail of the man who stole his wife in Guns and Guts (1974)

Quinton Bulnes as the sheriff of Sante Fe, the target of the vengeance seekers in Guns and Guts (1974)

Directed by:
Rene Cardona Jr.

Cast:
Jorge Rivero … El Pistolero
Pedro Armendariz Jr. … Husband
Rogelio Guerra … Escaped prisoner
Zumla Faiad … Chiquita
Quintin Bulnes … Sheriff
Gladys Vivas … Cheating wife
Rene Cardona … Monk
Chano Urueta … Friar Jose
Rebeca Silva … Prostitute
Leticia Robles … Prostitute
Diana Selga … Prostitute
Susan Von Polgar … Prostitute

Runtime: 98 min.

aka:
Las viboras cambian de piel
God, Gun and Guts

Zumla Faiad as the prostitute who hopes for a future with her former lover, the gunman in Guns and Guts (1974)

Gladys Vivas as the woman who left her husband for his brother in Guns and Guts (1974)

Memorable lines:

Escaped prisoner, after beating a store owner senseless: “Is this your man?”
Abandoned husband: “Nope.”
Escapee: “Mine neither.”

Guman: “You want to try one of my girls?”
Abandoned husband: “Nope.”
Gunman: “That’s your tough luck. I’m usually not that generous with my pretty little rabbits.”

Escaped prisoner, watching one of the gunman’s whores undress: “What a beautiful carcass.”

Gunman: “I can’t recall when I started shooting for real. These things are better forgotten. Blood calls for more blood, and our crimes leave a long, red chain.”

Gunman: “I’m a teacher. I run a girls school. And I give all my time to my little girls.”
Monk: “What do you teach them?”
Gunman: “I prefer the study of the human body.”
Monk: “Teaching must be nice.”
Gunman: “You’re not kidding, father.”

Gunman, to his wounded friend: “Why not disinfect it?”
Escaped prisoner: “How?”
Gunman: “Piss on the wound. It’s not the best remedy, but we got nothing’ better. Do you want me to piss on it?”

Chiquita upon her reunion with the gunman, an ex-lover: “When you stood me up, I wanted to become a nun. But at the convent, they wouldn’t let me entertain my boyfriends.”

Gunman to chiquita, when their lovemaking is interrupted: “Don’t fret, baby. I’ll get back before the sheets get cold.”

Rogelio Guerra as the escaped prisoner who makes a move on one of the gunman’s kittens in Guns and Guts (1974)

Pedro Armendariz Jr. as the husband who lost his wife in Guns and Guts (1974)

Jorge Rivero as El Pistolero with Zumla Faiad as Chiquita, the one whore he cares about in Guns and Guts (1974)