Honky Tonk (1974) - Once Upon a Time in a Western

Richard Crenna is Candy Johnson, a professional con man who travels from town to town with his sidekick Roper, looking for new victims.

He lands in a boom town where he’s reacquainted with an old flame (Stella Stevens as Gold Dust) and quickly runs afoul of the town boss, Brazos (John Dehner).

Bravos isn’t only the law in this here town, he also owns the saloon and gambling hall. And it’s a gambling hall where they don’t even try to hide the fact that the patrons are getting taken to the cleaners.

Whereupon Candy decides this town needs a different approach — a gambling hall owner who makes a killing by offering an honest game.

Business indeed booms; Gold Dust even moves in with her girls to capitalize on the profitability of Candy’s new establishment.

But Candy winds up feeling bad when he takes every cent an aging judge (Will Geeer) brought to the poker table, worse when the judge commits suicide, worse yet when he realizes the judges daughter sent him the money he lost so he could buy a partnership in a San Francisco law firm.

When the daughter (Margot Kiddeer) shows up, he winds up covering the judge’s losses. Then he discovers that he’s been the victim of a con and heads off after Lucy Cotton to get back his money. And that means crossing paths with an outlaw named Slade and his gang.

Richard Crenna as Candy Johnson, about to proposed a Russian roulette style wager in Honky Tonk (1974)

Margot Kidder as Ludy Cotton, tugging on Candy Johnson’s heartstrings in Honky Tonk (1974)

Review:

A TV pilot that didn’t turn into a series, and this comedy Western really isn’t anything special, in spite of the fact that it’s peppered with familiar faces.

Geer turns in a convincing performance, but Crenna isn’t James Garner, though he plays a role similiar to the one Garner made famous in the TV series “Maverick.”

Scenes you’re likely to remember: The game of Russian roulette between Crenna’s Candy Johnson and John Dehner’s Bravos, and the one in which Candy “holds up” the stage in which Lucy is riding while the real holdup men — Slade’s gang — watch from afar.

Stella Stevens as Gold Dust, trying to work out percentages with Candy Johnson in his new gambling hall in Honky Tonk (1974)

Geoffrey Lewis as Roper, Candy Johnson sidekick in his con artist ways in Honky Tonk (1974)

Directed by:
Don Taylor

Cast:
Richard Crenna … Candy Johnson
Stella Stevens … Gold Dust
Will Geer … Judge Cotton
Margot Kidder … Lucy Cotton
John Dehner … Brazos
Geoffrey Lewis … Roper
Gregory Sierra … Slade
James Luisi … Blackie

Runtime: 74 min.

Will Greer as Judge Cotton, a gambling addict who loses everything just before his daughter is due to arrive in town in Honky Tonk (1974)

John Dehner as Brazos, a self-appointed lawman and gambling cheat who crosses paths with Candy Johnson in Honky Tonk (1974)

Memorable lines:

Candy Johnson, to partner Roper: “There’s no sweeter sound in creation than the high-pitched squeal of a sucker when he knows he’s been stuck. Let’s go someplace we haven’t been.”

Gold Dust, punching Candy in the stomach: “That is for leaving me stranded in Fort Griffin.’
Candy: “Now, Gold Dust, I can explain that. The sheriff was breathing down my neck. I certainly didn’t want him breathing down yours. You’ve got such a pretty little neck.”

Gold Dust: “I knew I’d be seeing the two of you here. The size of this gold strike, the only wonder is you didn’t show up sooner.”
Candy: “Well, we had to give them time to dig it out for us.”

Gold Dust: “You know with me, it’s a business doing pleasure.”

Brazos: “Judge, it’s people like you that ain’t never satisfied. Three aces ain’t enough. Five aces is too many. Throw the old bum out.”

Slade: “Don’t ever grab a man’s shovel when he’s doing you diggin’.”

Lucy Cotton, as Candy starts carrying her on his back. “I feel like a papoose.”
Candy: “What I feel like, I’m not going to say.”

Roper: “At least this is one town we didn’t get run out of. The town ran out on us.”