Josh Brolin plays Jonah Hex, a former Confederate soldier who turns on his colleagues when his commander orders the death of innocents in a hospital. In fact, he kills the commander’s son. For this transgression, Quentin Turnball (John Malkovich) tracks down Jonah, ties him to a fence post, sets his cabin ablaze so he can watch his family die, then brands the initials QT into the side of his face.
Once recovered, Jonah sets out on the vengeance trail, of course. When he learns of Turnall’s own death in a fatal fire, he turns to bounty hunting, determined to make the guilty pay for their crimes, especially if there’s a payment for him somewhere in the equation.
Then the U.S. Army comes looking for help. Seems Turnball isn’t dead after all. In fact, he’s been stealing weapons and munitions from the government, which suspects he is about to unleash a “nation killer” of a weapon on the U.S., just in time for its centennial celebration.
President Grant figures Jonah is the perfect man to stop Turnball. As for the ex-Rebel commander — he turns to an old ploy, finding something Jonah cares about — in this case a whore named Lilah (Megan Fox) — to lure him into a trap.
Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex in Jonah Hex (2010)
Megan Fox as Lilah in Jonah Hex (2010)
Review:
The film starts off well enough, Spaghetti Western style in fact, as Hex rides into a desolate town somewhere in the southwest, dragging three corpses behind his horse. Ah, but there were four wanted men, an official in the town reminds him. Jonah flings the man a bag. Inside is a head. The rest of the outlaw was too heavy to drag back to town, Jonah proclaims.
Unfortunately, things quickly go awry. And that’s even if you don’t mind a plot that includes the development of a 19th century super bomb and our hero talking to the dead as he tries to track down Quentin.
Speaking of tracking down Quentin, Jonah zig-zags across the country at lightning spend given the fact that he has 10 days to stop Turnball and somehow makes it from the southwest to Virginia on horseback with a dog tagging along and plenty of stops in between.
The end result is a disjointed film that will leave you thinking lots of footage wound up on the cutting room floor. If so, you’re not going to find the answers in the skimpy deleted scenes feature on the DVD release.
For highlights, there’s lovely Megan Fox in the role of Lilah. She’s given lots of clever one-liners. But we’re never given a clue as to why she’s so taken with a disfigured, much older man.
John Malkovich as Quentin Turnball in Jonah Hex (2010)
Aiden Quinn as President Grant in Jonah Hex (2010)
Director:
Jimmy Hayward
Cast:
Josh Brolin … Jonah Hex
John Malkovich … Quentin Turnball
Megan Fox … Lilah
Michael Fassbender … Burke
Will Arnett … Lt. Grass
John Gallagher Jr. … Lt. Evan
Tom Wolpat … Col. Slocum
Michael Shannon … Doc Cross Williams
Wes Bentley … Adleman Lusk
Julia Jones … Cassie
Rio Hackford … Grayden Nash
Aidan Quinn … President Grant
Runtime: 81 min.
Michael Fassbender as Burke in Jonah Hex (2010)
Lance Reddick as Smith in Jonah Hex (2010)
Memorable lines:
Jonah Hex: “War and me took to each other real well.”
Jonah Hex, after throwing a bag containing the head of the fourth Clayton brother to a town official: “The rest of him was too fat for my horse.”
Man in saloon: “Hey, Hex, what happened to your face?”
Hex, after blowing him away: “Cut myself shaving. What happened to yours?”
Zeb to Jonah: “From where I sit, you’re just two men bent on killing folks to make your pain go away. Livin’ life like that, that sounds a hell of a lot like being damned.”
Lilah: “I ain’t much for being owned.”
Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex in Jonah Hex (2010)
Megan Fox as Lilah in Jonah Hex (2010)
Jonah: “You still got that derringer in your bustle?”
Lilah: “Nah, he took it.”
Jonah: “How bout that knife in your garter?”
Lilah: “Took it.”
Jonah: “How about that …”
Lilah: “He took it all, Jonah.”
Jonah: “He searched you pretty darn good, didn’t he?”
Lilla: “Wouldn’t you?”
Turnball: “Hex doesn’t know how to die. He’ll have to be educated.”
Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex in Jonah Hex (2010)
Megan Fox as Lilah in Jonah Hex (2010)
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