Tab Hunter is Abel Wood, the mysterious gunman who rides into the small town of Chili Verde accompanied by bountiful Rosie Velez (Divine).
Somewhere around Chili Verde, a fortune in gold is buried. And the lucky person who solves a limerick might ride away rich.
Outlaw Hard Case Williams is out to get that gold. So is Marguerita (Lainie Kazan), owner of the local saloon.
But it’s Abel who discovers that the secret to solving the limerick lies in the tatoos on the tushes of Rosie and Marguerita.
Still, that doesn’t mean he’ll end up with the gold.
Review:
A bawdy comedy Western that’s better than you’d expect or than it has any right to be.
Devine keeps snapping the necks of the men who crawl between her legs. Lainie Kazan’s flaunts some mighty impressive cleavage.
And how can one miss with the film that includes songs like “Tarnished Tumbleweed” and Kazan belting out “South of My Border.”
You’ll notice familiar faces from Westerns past, including Henry Silva, Woody Strode and Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez.
And you’ll notice spoofs of past Westerns, including Tony Anthony’s “Stranger” films, a standoff around a grave full of gold just like in “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” not to mention an ending that mimics “Duel in the Sun.
Which, by the way, was nicknamed “Lust in the Dust.”
Directed by:
Paul Bartel
Cast:
Tab Hunter … Abel Wood
Divine … Rosie Velez
Lainie Kazan … Marguerita
Geoffrey Lewis … Hard Case Williams
Henry Silva … Bernardo
Cesar Romero … Father Garcia
Gina Gallego … Ninfa
Nedra Volz … Big Ed
Courtney Gains … Red Dick
Woody Strode … Hard Case gang member
Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez … Hard Case gang member
Runtime: 84 min.
Songs:
“Tarnished Tumbleweed” by Mike Stull
“These Lips Were Made for Kissin'” by Divine
“South of My Border” b Lainie Kazan
Memorable lines:
Opening intro: “There is a saying in these parts. Those who lust in the dust shall die in the dust.”
Hard Case Williams, as his men prepare to ravage Rosie Velez: “A virgin? Really? That does make a difference. I’ll go first.”
Marguerita, upon meeting Abel Wood: “Freeze, hombre, or I’ll be wearing your asshole for a garter.”
Female bartender to Abel: “I’m the best french kisser in Chili Verde.”
Abel: “If I come across a Frenchman, I’ll let him know.”
Maguerita, singing her theme song: “Let me take you south of my border / where there’s no law, no order / and where it smokes / all the time.”
Priest to Abel: “Do not worry, son. They will not shoot while I am beside you.”
Hard Case Williams: “Huh! Don’t count on it. It’s a good day for me when I get to kill a priest.’
Priest to Abel: “I’ll be in the church.”
Hard Case Williams: “You’re smarter than shit.”
Abel Wood: “I’ve been around.”
Hard Case: “I’m glad you used the past tense on that.”
){kind=link}