Outlaws (1986) - Once Upon a Time in a Western

William Lucking is Harland Pike, whose gang robs a bank in Houston, Texas, in the 1890s, then flees from the posse.

But the posse, led by an old friend named John Grail (Rob Taylor), catches up with them in a Comanche burial ground.

Grail tries to talk Pike and his partners — Isaiah McAdams (Richard Roundtree), Wolfson Lucas (Charles Napier) and Harland’s brother Billy (Patrick Houser) — into surrendering.

They aren’t inclined to. Instead, guns are drawn for what’s sure to be a deadly shootout.

At that moment, there’s a flash of lightning and all five men disappear.

They reappear on the outskirts of Houston, ducking for cover as an airplane soars overhead.

Then Grail finds a discarded newspaper. It’s 1986. They’ve been transported 90 years into the future.

And it’s a confusing future with automobiles, televisions, juke boxes and other modern contraptions, not to mention bikini-clad sunbathers.

The one bit of good news: That bag of $20 golden eagles stolen from that bank in Houston is now worth a cool $500,000.

Still, Harland and Grail figure the five should work together until they figure out how to negotiate this new world they’ve landed in.

But Billy balks at being told what to do. The god-fearing Lucas wants to find a way back to the past. And McAdams has always dreamed of seeing California.

So they part ways only to be brought back together by a common enemy, a small-time hustler named D.J. Ballard who has threatened Billy’s life.

Rod Taylor as John Grail in Outlaws (1986)

William Lucking as Harland Pike in Outlaws (1986)

Review:

This was the pilot for a TV series that actually made it to air, in spite of the silly premise. But remember, this was post “Mork & Mindy” so …

Problem was, while there’s comic fodder in taking five old West cowboys and plunking them down in the 20th century, where they have to figure out how to drive cars and work TV remotes, you need action sequences too.

And the action sequences here are cartoonish, leaving us with five outlaws from the past using old-time weapons to teach 20th Century punks the difference between right and wrong.

The series aired on CBS on Sunday nights and lasted just 11 episodes beyond the pilot as the five “outlaws” wound up forming the Double E Ranch Detective Agency.

The other recurring character from the pilot was Maggie Randall, who happened to be a neighbor of Outlaws and a lady cop quite taken with John Grail.

The most interesting guest appearance in the pilot? Shannen Doherty of future “Beverly Hills 90210” fame appears as a young girl who’s brother is bullied in a bar.

Until the outlaws step in and teach those doing the bullying some manners, to her character’s delight.

Patrick Houser as Billy Pike in Outlaws (1986)

Richard Roundtree as Isaiah ‘Ice’ McAdams in Outlaws (1986)

Directed by:
Peter Werner

Cast:
Rod Taylor … John Grail
William Lucking … Harland Pike
Richard Roundtree … Isaiah “Ice” McAdams
Charles Napier … Wolfson Lucas
Patrick Houser … Billy Pike
Christine Belford … Lt. Maggie Randall
Lewis Van Bergen … D.J. Ballard
Wendy Girade … Rose
Avery Schreiber … Halifax
Shannen Doherty … Andrea Halifax

Runtime: 94 min.

Charles Napier as Wolfson Lucas in Outlaws (1986)

Christine Belford as Lt. Magie Randall, the lady police officer who’s neighbors to the ‘outlaws’ in Outlaws (1986)

Memorable lines:

Billy Pike, firing as he charges an automobile: “Die, you damn machine. Die!”

John Grail to the Outlaws: “You come with me, you got my word: No lynching.”
Harland Pike: “Your word? Well even that superior item, John, will not keep those egg suckers from having us swing. And you know it.”

Wolfson Lucas, having seen a plain pass overhead: “That was the devil’s own chariot. We’ve arrived at the gates of hell with neither a Bible or a six-gun between us.”

Harland Pike, after the time transport: “Something isn’t right here. And until I figure out what it is, what we are is five Texicans who must stand up for one another.”

Harland Pike, walking toward modern day Houston, skyscrapers on the horizon: “Just like the old days, John.”
John Grail: “Not hardly, Harland.”

Lt. Maggie Randall: “Who are you?”
John Grail: “Outlaws. Outlaws who have seen the light.”

Isaiah McAdams: “So let’s do it.”
Wolfson Lucas: “Amen.”
John Grail: “Slow and easy.”
McAdams: “All the way.”
Harland Pike: “To the hilt.”
All four: “Amen.”