Sam Whiskey (1969)

Angie Dickinson is Laura Breckenridge, and she has a $250,000 problem.

Seems her late husband stole that sum from the U.S. mint, replacing gold bars with lead bars in order to finance a revolution in southern California.

Instead, the ship carrying the gold — The Bonnie Blue — sank. Now the $250,000 is sitting at the bottom of the Platte River.

Laura needs someone to recover the gold and smuggle it back into the U.S. mint.

Otherwise, she could wind up in jail and her family’s good name could be ruined when an inspector shows up and discovers the lead bars.

Using bedroom charm and an offer that escalates from $5,000 to $20,000, Laura convinces a rogue named Sam Whiskey (Burt Reynolds) to accept the mission.

He recruits two men to help — a blacksmith named Jed Hooker (Ossie Davis) and a fellow rogue-turned-inventor O.W. Bandy (Clint Walker).

With the help of primitive diving gear, they set about recovering the gold.

But Fat Henry Hobson (Rick Davis) is on their trail. The inspector, Thorston Bromley, is due to arrive soon. And Perkins, who runs the mint, isn’t an easy man to fool. At least not for long.

Review:

Well, if you’re going to make a comedy Western, it should be funny at some point over the course of 96 minutes, right?

Instead, director Arnold Laven served up a 96-minute snooze fest. Oh, you might chuckle at the 11-minute mark when the bed in Laura’s room finally gives out, but that’ll likely be your last chuckle.

Of course, Angie Dickinson was never best known for her comedic abilities. Ditto for Clint Walker. Ossie Davis was genuinely funny in The Scalphunters. He isn’t here.

Burt Reynolds fans might want to check out the film. It marked one of his first starring roles. Everyone else beware. This was a good idea for a film that went nowhere.

Directed by:
Arnold Laven

Cast:
Burt Reynolds … Sam Whiskey
Angie Dickinson … Laura Breckenridge
Clint Walker … O.W. Bandy
Ossie Davis … Jed Hooker
William Schallert … Mr. Perkins
Woodrow Parfrey … Thorston Bromley
Rick Davis … Fat Henry Hobson
Anthony James … Cousin Larry
Del Reeves … The Fisherman
John Damler … Hank
Robert Adler … Pete
Chubby Johnson … Blacksmith
Ayllene Gibbons … Big Annie
Sidney Clute … Clem
Amanda Harley … Mrs. Perkins
William Boyett … Corporal
Tracey Roberts … Agnes

Runtime: 96 min.

Memorable lines:

Sam Whiskey to Laura Breckenridge: “Lady, there’s two things I don’t mess around with — one is an Apache squaw, the other is the U.S. government.”

Sam Whiskey: “You all right, Jed?”
Jed Hooker, as he prepares to go underwater in Bandy’s contraption: “Yep. Nice river to get drowned in. Not too muddy.”

Jed Hooker: “Taking a chance with your life for more money than you need is just plain foolishness.”

Sam Whiskey, upon reaching the U.S. Mint: “Oh, well, we shouldn’t have too much trouble. All we have to do is fight have the U.S. Army. Then fly in a window like a bird.”
Jed Hooker: “With a quarter million worth of gold on your tail. Nothing to it.”

Laura Breckenridge: “Don’t you ever get lonely?”
Thorston Bromley: “No. I play checkers a lot. I make friends quickly that way.”
Laura: “Would you like to freshen up? Then we can play checkers. Or something.”

Mr. Perkins: “Where the hell is George Washington?”