Robert Preston is Ben Sunday, the aging gunman hired by Sister Dulcina (Patty Duke Atin) to escort a band of Apache children to Colorado where she plans to open a school for them.
Sunday’s reluctant to take the job. After all, he’s a renown gunman, not a nurse maid to orphans and nuns. Besides, the pay is a meager $1 per day.
But once he realizes the Sister’s destination is the outlaw town of Columbine — and that she’s determined to go with or without him — Sunday relents, as long as Dulcina agrees to a vow of silence.
That vow doesn’t last too long. But even with Sunday, there’s the question of how long the Sister and her children will last in Columbine.
She chose to go there after gettting reports that the church was vacant. That’s not quite true.
Town boss Jack Brian has turned it into a saloon, full of drunks and prostitutes. And he isn’t about to turn it over to a bunch of Apache kids.
At least not without a fight.
Review:
The focus is on humor in this TV Western, and longtime actors Preston and Patty Duke are up to the task.
Geoffrey Lewis plays the Columbine sheriff, a drunkard forever trying to steady his hands so he can help Sunday. David Knell is Sunday’s nephew, trying not too successfully to follow in his uncle’s footsteps.
Sunday also has a dog who rides along on his horse but is too lazy to do much else. And the good Sister’s influence convinces the whores in Columbine — led by Mama Queen — that they’d rather sing hymns than service men.
Patty Duke had become that youngest actress ever to win an Academy Award at age 16 for her role in 1962’s “Miracle Worker.” She went on to star in her own TV show and continued acting until her death in 2016 at age 69.
This marked one of Preston’s last films and his last Western. He died of lung cancer at age 69, four years after “September Gun” was released.
Robert Preston as Ben Sunday, listening to Sister Dulcina’s proposition in September Gun (1983)
Patty Duke Astin as Sister Dulcina, explaining her plans for the Apache children in September Gun (1983)
Directed by:
Don Taylor
Cast:
Robert Preston … Ben Sunday
Patty Duke Astin … Sister Dulcina
Geoffrey Lewis … Sheriff Johnson
David Knell … Jason
Sally Kellerman … Mama Queen
Jacques Aubuchon … Father Jerome
Christopher Lloyd … Jack Brian
Jon Gries … Brian Brian
Clayton Landey … Boomer Brian
Pat Anderson … Billie Sue
Runtime: 92 min.
Christopher Lloyd, as Jack Brian, the man who’s turned Columbine’s church into a saloon in September Gun (1983)
Sally Kellerman as Mama Queen, Jack Brian’s main squeeze until a Sister comes along in September Gun (1983)
Memorable lines:
Sister Dulcina, asked who’s going to pay for the deputy’s broken teeth: “Not me! I was reaching to pray to God when your Deputy Grogan got his face in the way.”
Ben Sunday: “The secret to good beans is being hungry as hell.”
Ben Sunday: “Just hope you’re gunned down before you’re 50 and everything stops working for you.”
Jason: “You know, Mr. Sunday had Wild Bill Hickok draw on him one time. He ain’t afraid of nothin’.”
Ben Sunday: “‘Cept working for a dollar a day.”
Ben Sunday, after watching a man be gunned down in the street: “Nice town, Columbine. They were probably arguing over poetry or something.”
Sister Dulcina: “Mr. Sunday, what kind of gun would you find appropriate for a nun?”
Ben Sunday: “Don’t know. That’s a problem I ain’t never come up against before.”
Geoffrey Lewis as Sheriff Johnson, the drunkard trying to sober up in September Gun (1983)
David Knell as Jason, the nephew who tags along with gunman Ben Sunday in September Gun (1983)
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