Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Ugo Fangareggi is Dave and Antonio Di Leo is Bob, buddies and gay cowboys endangered by a case of false assumptions.

Two hard-drinking old-timers, Gin (Vincenzo Maggio) and Whiskey (Lello Pontecorvo), have discovered gold in a river bed.

They don’t have the tools necessary to exploit their find, so a trip to town will be required. Just in case they get separated, they draw a map of the gold’s location, then tear it in half, with each taking one part.

Sure enough, they get separated. A drunk Whiskey tumbles down a hillside. Gin’s so soused, he doesn’t even notice.

A bandit named Bart (Iganazio Spalla as Pedro Sanchez) finds a dying Whiskey, then finds one half of that map.

He’s determined to get the other half. And, because of something that has to do with spurs, thinks Dave and Bob either have it or know where it is.

A town boss named Harrison (Mario Dani) comes to the same conclusion. And like Bart, he has a band of henchmen capable of making life difficult for the rather flamboyant twosome.

Dave and Bob find themselves hunted and hounded. But they’ll get help from females of opposite sorts — Jessica Rourke (Rita De Angelis), a pretty dance troupe leader, and Mother Superior (Fiorella Gaigano), who’s in charge at the nearby mission.

Ugo Fangareggi as Dave, being questioned about a map he knows nothing about in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Antonio Di Leo as Bob, trying to ignore what he thinks are advances from one of Harrison’s men in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Review:

Ever have a yearning to watch a Spaghetti comedy featuring two gay leads characters, battling nuns and talking mules?

If so, this is the film for you. If not, you’re likely to watch, then wonder why you bothered.

Oh, it’s not the worst of the comedies to follow the Spaghetti craze. The plot sorta makes sense and comes to a rather logical conclusion.

And it includes a truly humorous scene in which seven nuns riding donkeys and led by Mother Superior stop a stagecoach to “kidnap” Dave and Bob.

That prompts the stage driver to muse that the end must be near if blood-thirsty Indians and marauding bandits have been replaced by kidnapping nuns.

Ah, but there’s lots of flat-out silliness and off-color jokes too, including a speeded-up sequence in which the old-timers celebrate their find.

Whiskey frantically dances in the river. Gin repeatedly tosses a gigantic gold nugget, looking for all the world like an oversized, gold-plated marsh mellow, into the air.

Meanwhile, Dave and Bob spend the last half of the film in drag while Bart follows them wearing his pajamas and a nightcap with a little red ball forever bobbing in front of his face.

Ignazio Spalla (Pedro Sanchez) as Bart, spotting what he’s seeking in the mission bell tower in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Mario Dani as Madison (or Harrison), one of the two men determined to find the maps in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Directed by:
Marcello Zeani
as Roy Patterson

Cast:
Ugo Fangareggi … Dave
Antonio Di Leo … Bob
Vincenzo Maggio … Gin
as Enzo Maggio
Lello Pontecorvo … Whiskey
Fiorella Gaigano … Mother Superior
as Lea Gargano
Rita DeAngelis … Jessica Rourke
Mario Dani … Madison
Ignazio Spalla … Bart
as Pedro Sanchez
Enzo Pulcrano … Greg, Bart henchman
as Paul McCraen
Giuseep Mattei … Steve, Bart henchman
Bruno Boschetti … Sam, Bart henchman

Also with: Sergio Seragina, Edmondo Tieghi, Salvatore Baccaro, Mario Dardanelli, Enrico Casadei, Sergio Ukmar, Lina Franchi, Adriana Bruno, Franca Scagnetti

Runtime: 90 min.

aka:
Sette monache a Kansas City
Trouble in Kansas City
Nuns, Gold and Gin

Music: Gino Peguri

Fiorella Gaigano (Lea Gargano) as Mother Superior, leader of the mission in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Rita De Angelis as Jessica Rourke, leader of the dance hall troupe in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Memorable lines:

Sorry, watched a non-English version of this film.

Vincenzo Maggio (Enzo Maggio) as Gin, sharing news of a gold strike in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Lello Pontecorvo as Whiskey, one of the hard-drinking old-timers in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Trivia:

* Lidia Puglia co-wrote and produced the film, her only credit in either capacity. She was makeup artist on nearly 50 films, including more than a dozen Spaghetti Westerns.

* One of only two films directed by Marcello Zeani, the other being a 1974 drama called “Naked Fists.” It’s stars included Vasilli Karis, Femi Benussi and Rite De Angelis from this film.

* This marked a rare leading role for Ugo Fangareggi, a familiar face as a character actor who appeared in several Spaghetti Westerns, including “A Reason to Live, a Reason to Die” (1972).

Fiorella Gaigano (Lea Gargano) as Mother Superior, halting a stagecoach in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Ignazio Spalla (Pedro Sanchez) finds the first half of the map to a gold strike in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Ugo Fangareggi as Dave and Antonio Di Leo as Bob, finding themselves chased by two gangs in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)

Vincenzo Maggio (Enzo Maggio) as Gin, listening to a proposed solution to his problems from Mother Superior (Fiorella Gaigano as Lea Gargano) in Seven Nuns in Kansas City (1973)