Dean Martin plays Joe Baker, a handsome galoot who’s out West because his fiance (Carol White as Dover McBride) has given him two years to do “something big.”
But those the two years have ran out, and Dover has announced that she’s coming West to drag Baker back to Philadelphia to marry her as he’s promised.
Baker decides to steal a cache of gold from a Mexican bandit. But to steal the gold, he needs a gatling gun. And the man with the gatling gun (Albert Salmi as Johnny Cobb) wants a woman in exchange.
So Baker and his gang start robbing stagecoaches in search of the woman. They wind up kidnapping Mary Ann Morgan (Honor Blackman), wife of the cavalry commander (Brian Keith as Col. Morgan) at the nearby fort at Dry Wells.
With the help of his not-always-so knowledgeable scout (Ben Johnson as Jesse Bookbinder), the colonel sets out to get his wife back and rescue her from Baker’s presumably “vile” intentions.
Dean Martin as Joe Baker spots something he appreciates in Something Big (1971)
Brian Keith as Col. Morgan wears a retirement gift presented to him by his men in Something Big (1971)
Review:
Chalk this up as a comedy Western that starts out strong, but drags on too long and loses some steam toward the end.
That’s especially true once Baker secures his Gatling gun and finally gets around to doing something big.
Among the more unique touches: Baker, the lady’s man, rides around with a small pet dog tucked safely into his saddlebag. And his horse’s teeth have gold fillings.
Merlin Olsen of NFL fame plays one of Morgan’s subordinates and the cast features lots of familiar faces to Western fans, inclduing Denver Pyle, Paul Fix and Harry Carey Jr.
Joyce Van Patten and Judi Meredith play two man-hungry girls who live on an isolated ranch and will demand affection at gunpoint if it’s necessary.
Honor Blackman as Mary Ann Morgan meets the Baker Gang in Something Big (1971)
Carol White as Dover McBride arrives from the East in Something Big (1971)
Directed by:
Andrew McLaglen
Cast:
Dean Martin … Joe Baker
Brian Keith … Col. Morgan
Carol White … Dover McBride
Honor Blackman … Mary Ann Morgan
Ben Johnson … Jesse Bookbinder
Albert Salmi … Johnny Cobb
Don Knight … Tommy McBride
Joyce Van Patten … Polly Standall
Merlin Olsen … Sgt. Fitzsimmons
Denver Pyle … Junior Frisbee
Robert Donner .. Angel Moon
Harry Carey Jr. … Joe Pickins
Judi Meredith … Carrie Standall
Edward Faulkner … Capt. Tyler
Paul Fix … Chief Yellow Sun
Armand Alzamora … Luis Munos
David Huddleston … Malachi Morton
Shirleena Manchur .. Stage passenger
Runtime: 108 min.
Ben Johnson as Jesse Bookbinder informs the colonel that Baker is planning something big in Something Big (1971)
Merlin Olsen as Sgt. Fitzsimmons is befuddled by Dover’s arrival in Something Big (1971)
Memorable lines:
Jesse Bookbinder, as of Joe Baker: “Gets around like a fever and lives on a rock. Word has it, he’s planning something big.”
Joe Baker, pulling a gun on Johnny Cobb: “It’s a sorry man who resorts to violence, Cobb.”
Mary Ann Morgan, after Joe Baker checks out her figure: “I’m going to have you shot.”
Baker: “And who’s gonna do the shooting …I’ll tell you one thing. You sure do look like everything is in order.”
Don Knight as Tommy McBride, Dover’s brother and Joe’s friend, in Something Big (1971)
Albert Salmi as Johnny Cobb tries to swap a Gatling for a woman in Something Big (1971)
Mary Ann Morgan: “I don’t believe you’re going to trade me for a Gatling gun.”
Joe Baker: “Why don’t you believe me?”
Mary Ann: “Because I’m worth more than that. Far more. And you know it.”
Joe Baker: “Why don’t you plant some flowers or something on your husband’s grave?”
Polly Standall: “He didn’t smell nice living. Why should he smell nice dead?”
Harry Carey Jr as one-legged Joe Pickins in Something Big (1971)
Denver Pyle as Junior Frisbee has a score to settle with Baker in Something Big (1971)
Col. Morgan: “I appreciate the food and the hospitality very much, but there’s a limit of what you can expect from a guest.”
Carrie Standall: “You ain’t no guest, honey, you’re supper.” She turns to her sister: “You take a turn, Polly. Then you can hold the gun for me.”
Joe Baker to Dover: “You’re the only woman I ever think about.”
Dover McBride: “Oh, if I believed that, the United States government should ship me back to Scotland as an undesirable due to mental incompetence.”
Joyce Van Patten as Polly Standall flirts with another visitor in Something Big (1971)
Judi Meredith as Carrie Standall prepares to take what she wants in Something Big (1971)
Shirleena Manchur as the stage passenger who catches Joe Baker’s eye in Something Big (1971)
It’s yet another ride for Joe Baker’s pet dog in Something Big (1971)
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