Anthony Steffen is Shoshena, a fast gun with a $5,000 bounty on his head.
In a trick to eliminate bounty killers eager to cash in, he spreads a rumor that he’s lying dying in a ghost town, making him easy pickings.
And he indeed lies there as the bounty hunters pick one another off until only one remains, a man he recognizes as Jaquar because of the musical gold watch he wears around his neck.
Ah, but Jaquar (Robert Camardiel) isn’t really Jaquar. He’s a man named Fuzzy, who was collecting junk in the ghost town when dead bodies started falling from everywhere. In fact, he took that gold watch off one of those bodies.
But Shoshena is looking for a sidekick to help rob a fat bank in the nearby town of Chedron, so Fuzzy tags along.
They find a town run by a man named DeKovan (Eduardo Fajardo) and his bully of a son, George.
And they’re trying to push all the small ranchers off their land, meaning there’s a damsel in distress (Maria Elena Arpon).
When she isn’t fretting about her dad’s fate as a leader of the small ranchers, she’s busy fending off the advances of George.
After all, if the DeKovan’s can’t get their hands on her dad’s land any other way, a wedding between George and the damsel will do.
Anthony Steffen (Antonio de Teffe) as Shoshena in Tequila (1973)
Robert Camardiel as Jaquar, plundering the dead in Tequila (1973)
Review:
A very clever opening gives way to a film that will entertain more than most Spaghetti comedies from the 1970s, but that can’t quite maintain its early momentum.
Unlike his previous comedy Western, “Too Much Gold for One Gringo,” Anthony Steffen actually breaks down and cracks a smile occasionally this time around.
Of course, he spends the film wearing a black coat/cloak with faux fur around the neck and cuffs and even jokes about that at one point.
Robert Camardiel strikes a nice balance as the sidekick, and actresses Maria Elen Arpon and Agata Lys brighten up the scenery.
The former is at first suspicious of our hero, then bemoans that fact that all he seems to care about his his gun, his ammo and his horse.
The latter plays a trophy wife to DeKovan who plays around while he sleeps. She tries to lure our hero to her bed or sneak her way into his.
That said, the motivations of the characters — especially the ladies — are a bit fuzzy. And I can’t help but wonder if that’s because the English version I watched ran a scant 80 minutes. Most sites place the true runtime at 87.
In many Spaghetti Westerns, the cuts aren’t obvious. In this one, it’s pretty obvious there are missing scenes and references to things that happen later in the movie.
Eduardo Fajardo as DeKovan, town boss of Chedron in Tequila (1973)
Juan Amigo as George DeKovan, DeKovan’s lovestruck and bullying son in Tequila (1973)
Directed by:
Tulio Demicheli
Cast:
Antonio de Teffe … Shoshena
as Anthony Steffen
Eduardo Fajardo … DeKovan
Robert Camardiel … Fuzzy / Jaquar
Maria Elena Arpon … Beatrice Lohsman
Jose Luis Zalde — Rush Lohsman
Agata Lys … Ingrid DeKovan
John Bartha … Sheriff
Mirko Ellis … O’Connor
Juan Amigo … George DeKovan
Giovanni Petti … Compton
Juanita Jimenez … Senora
Also with: Jose Luis Cinchilla, Mario Sanz, Joaquin Solis, Manuel Guitian, Agustin Besco, Julio Milian, Antonio Orengo, Pablo Blanco, Fabian Conde, German Grech
Runtime: 87 min.
Music: Lallo Gori
aka:
Uno, dos, tres… dispara otra vez
Shoshena
Fuzzy the Hero
Maria Elena Arpon as Beatrice Lohsman warming to Shoshena in Tequila (1973)
Agata Lys as Ingrid DeKovan, DeKovan’s cheating wife in Tequila (1973)
Memorable lines:
Fuzzy, sneaking up on what he thinks is a sleeping fugitive: “Forgive me, Shoshena. I hate violence. But $5,000 is $5,000.”
Shoshena: “There’s a safe in Chadron that, once a month, is fatter than a pregnant hippopotamus.”
Fuzzy: “What’s that? A potta … hippatis …?
Shoshena: “It’s not important. Just think of all that money we’re gonna rob.”
Sheriff: “You know what desperation does? It turns men dangerous.”
Fuzzy: “Dang wildcat.”
Shoshena: “She’s purr if you stroked her. I’d bet on it.”
Fuzzy: “Rip your eyes out!”
Shoshena: “Oh, by the way, I’m glad to say, I know how to make and raise babies now (after reading her book).”
Beatrice: “Good. Go and try it with your fat sidekick.”
Soshena to the last Sampson: “Your family is holding a reunion, and I wouldn’t want you to be late.”
Fuzzy, when Shoshena turns generous: “But you gave them my 20 percent too.”
Soshena: “Twenty percent of a noose around your neck is still a noose around your neck.”
Mirko Ellis as O’Connor, DeKovan’s top man in Tequila (1973)
John Bartha as sheriff takes orders from DeKovan in Tequila (1973)
Trivia:
In the 80-minute English version I watched on Amazon, Steffen’s character is named Shoshena. In other versions, he’s Tequila and Carmardiel is Bobo, which explains some of the alternate titles.
Anthony Steffen made just one more Western, another comedy named “Dallas” in which he rides around carrying an umbrella. Fernando Sanchez co-stars.
Wondering about the lovely blonde who plays DeKovan’s wife? Agata Lys was just 19 when this film was released and it marked her second credited film role. Her only other “Spaghetti” was “Three Supermen of the West” (also 1973) about three time-traveling superheroes who land in the Wild West. Her blonde hair and curves drew comparisons to Marilyn Monroe and, in fact, in 1976, she played the lead in a film called “La nueva Marilyn.”
Roberto Camardiel as Jaquar and Anthony Steffen (Antonio de Teffe) as Shoshena listen to a proposition in Tequila (1973)
Maria Elena Arpon as Beatrice Lohsman and her father (Jose Luis Zalde) wonder about a stranger in Tequila (1973)
Agata Lys as Ingrid DeKovan sits in judgment with her husband (Eduardo Fajardo) in Tequila (1973)
Anthony Steffen (Antonio de Teffe) as Shoshena faces down another man in Tequila (1973)
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