Santa Anna has moved an army across the Rio Grande, and Sam Houston (Bill Paxton) is raising his own after Texas declares itself an independent nation.
But Houston’s army is a small, poorly-equipped, rag-tag group of volunteers, so he’s in no rush to engage the Mexican Army.
This infuriates subordinates who urge him to rush to the defense of the Alamo. The Alamo falls; all of its defenders are killed or executed.
Houston is encouraged to join up with Col. Fannin at Goliad and attack Santa Anna.
He declines. Fannin’s force is surrounded and forced to surrender. Those who do so are executed as part of Santa Anna’s plan to punish the pirates trying to take Texas from him.
With his men and officers on the verge of mutiny, Houston turns to one of his most trusted allies for advice.
That would be Deaf Smith (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), one of the leaders of a group of rangers who are serving as scouts for the army.
Smith convinces him to begin trailing Santa Anna (Olivier Martinez), then engage him when the Mexican forces are at their weakest — divided and overconfident.
Houston also has some aces up his sleeve.
Former lover Emily West (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) has slipped off to become Santa Anna’s mistress, planning to betray the Mexican general in order to avenge her brother’s death at the Alamo.
Manuel Flores (Gerardo Taracena), a Mexicano serving with the rangers, agrees to infiltrate Santa Anna’s army and proves helpful in getting information about their movements back to Houston.
And its turns out one male survived the carnage at the Alamo. He’s now known as Lorca (Ray Liotta). And he’s committed to killing as many Mexicans as possible.
If you’re going to keep viewers’ interest through a mini-series that runs more than seven hours, you’d better have a smart, well-written script.
What’s served up here is mostly garbage.
In an early scene, a group of Texas Rangers watch from a hillside as an Indian war party chases a covered wagon and some Mexican troopers on horseback.
They’re inclined to stay out of the fight, until one ranger, apparently blessed with x-ray vision, shouts out that there are women in the wagon.
So off the Texas Rangers go with Brendan Fraser’s character riding into the fray with a bow-and-arrow, quickly proving himself a better Indian than any Indian.
Once the Rangers have carried the day, Fraser’s character stays behind all alone to bury the dead, fully aware the war party is watching from nearby. And he survives!
Next, let’s jump to the Mexican camp, where Santa Anna is feeding his own blood to his prize cock-fighting rooster.
When a second rooster won’t drink his blood, Santa Anna breaks its neck and tosses the bird to one of his subordinate officers. Turns out that rooster was named Sam Houston.
Back at Sam Houston’s camp, the general is talking to Emily West, one of the Alamo survivors. Santa Anna is making fun of him, Emily tells Houston. He’s even named a chicken after him.
Now why do I find it doubtful that Santa Anna pulled a female survivor of the Alamo aside and informed her that he has a chicken named Sam Houston?
What were they making here? A 1950s B Western? Or a 21st century mini-series?
Unfortunately, the answer is the latter, a miniseries bloated with unnecessary subplots or romantic sidebars.
There’s an Alamo survivor — yes, an adult male survivor — who transforms into an indestructable avenger. And a mulatto seductress who slips almost effortlessly from Sam Houston’s bed to Santa Anna’s in her quest for revenge.
There’s so much silliness, it’s shocking that this was a History Channel production. There’s so much silliness, it’s impossible to accept anything that happens on screen as history.
Directed by:
Roland Jof111
Cast:
Bill Paxton … Sam Houston
Jeffrey Dean Morgan … Deaf Smith
Olivier Martinez … Santa Anna
Thomas James … James Wykoff
Crispin Glover … Mosley Baker
Jeremy Davies … Ephraim Knowles
Rhys Coiro … Henry Karnes
Max Theiriot … Jack Hawys
Cynthia Addai-Robinson … Emily West
Robert Knepper … Empresario Buckley
Chad Michael Murray … Mirabeau Lamar
Jeff Fahey … Thomas Rusk
Sarah Jones … Pauline Wykoff
Joe Egender … Beans Wilkins
Robert Baker … Big Foot Wallace
Stephen Monroe Taylor … Gator Davis
Trevor Donovan … Kit Acklin
Rob Morrow … Col. James Fannin
Kris Kristofferson … Andrew Jackson
Brendan Fraser … Billy Anderson
Ray Liotta … Lorca / Tom Mitchell
Gerardo Taracena … Manuel Flores
Raul Mendez … Juan Seguin
Jacob Lofland … Colby Pit
Runtime: 450 min.
Memorable lines:
Doctor: “Gotta get your rest, Sam. You’re so peaked, you look like death eatin’ a cracker.”
Texas Ranger, from a long distance, looking at a covered wagon: “Those are women in the wagon.”
Deaf Smith: “That cuts it.”
Sam Houston: “Deaf, do you understand me?”
Deaf Smith: “I’m deaf, not dumb.”
Billy Anderson: “Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Dickinson. Can you tell me, how many cannons did Santa Anna bring? How many soldiers?’
Mrs. Dickinson: “Kill ’em. Kill ’em all.”
Santa Anna, upon learning that Emily West has fled Sam Houston: “Now you are here? What do you want?”
Emily West: “I want a warm bath. With you in it.”
Gen. Almonte, of Fannin’s men: “It is the Easter celebration. Perhaps mercy would be the Christian thing to do.”
Santa Anna: “Christian? Huh? They are from the devil, not Jesus.”
Truett Fincham: “Feel like I’ve been ate by a wolf.”
Yancy Burns: “Yeah. Then shit off a cliff.”
Kit Acklim: “Turn and run, huh? Is that it, Vern?”
Vern Elwood: “Hell, no. Turn, run and fornicate.”
Santa Anna, musing with Emily West about how he could have become a musician: “I guess, if you asked me what instrument I play best, my answer is: the human instrument.”
Emily West to Santa Anna, whose been boasting of his rooster’s cock-fighting skills: “I can always tell a champion cock just by the look in his eyes.”
Deaf Smith, finding Sam Houston covered in mud and shouting a Cherokee war chant: “All that thunder and racket, and not a drop of rain. Hell, Sam, I ain’t real sure if I should report you or run like hell.”
Note: Deaf Smith isn’t supposed to be able to hear, only read lips.
Sam Houston: “It’s not a rain dance. It’s more of a combination war chant, purification ritual.”
Sam Houston: “A man will fight harder if he thinks the decision is his own.”
Santa Anna: “I am stuck in this Texas shithole. Chasing rats.”
Vern to Flores, a Mexican, when the latter saves the former in battle: “Mighty white of you, Flores.”
Henry Karnes to Deaf Smith: “Damn, you look like something the cat drug in that the dog wouldn’t eat.”
Santa Anna: “History will sweep you aside with a footnote.”
Sam Houston: “Perhaps. But better a footnote than a whole book of abominations.”
Santa Anna: “If I owned both hell and Texas, I would rent Texas and live in hell.”
David Burnet: “What spell do you hold over Texas?”
Sam Houston: “Maybe it’s because everybody here is just like me. They’ve seen me rise in spite of my flaws and they know they can to. It’s not me they celebrate. It’s hope.”
Wow this is the first time I don’t agree with your review, I loved Texas Rising and thought the acting and subplots were fabulous! I really enjoyed it. The music also was Terrific!
However I respect your opinion because you are the authority on Westerns! Thanks for this website I love it
And thank you for commenting. Opposing points of views on the movies are ALWAYS welcome!