George Segal is Charlie “Dirtwater Fox” Malloy, a small-time gambler out for one big score. Only problem is, he keeps getting caught cheating while playing poker.
Goldie Hawn is Amanda Quaid, a dance hall girl who performs and beds men under the name “Bluebird.” She never gives it away for free, but yearns for the day she can have “one day on and six off” like other women.
Malloy winds up being recruited by the Bloodworth Gang for a bank robbery and manages to make off with the $40,000 in loot.
“Bluebird” steals the satchel containing that loot. She wants $65 so she can buy a dress, pose as a duchess and interview for a job as a tutor for the many children of a rich Mormon.
And so Dirtwater chases the Duchess to get his stolen money back. The Bloodworth Gang chases Dirtwater to recover the same satchel of cash. And a sheriff is trying to find the Duchess for robbing a would-be customer.
Along the way, the couple being chased form a bond. After all, Dirtwater’s charm is growing on the Duchess. Dirtwater appreciated the Duchess’ charms the first time he saw her sing and dance.
Review:
Better than average comedy Western thanks to solid performances from the leads and Dirtwater’s clumsy horse, Blackjack. The horse falls during one getaway, stands at the wrong spot when Dirtwater’s trying to jump from a window onto his back and goes chasing after mares while his owner is staked out in the sun.
As for Goldie and George, they’re most memorable during a confidential stagecoach conversation that’s supposed to be in French but veers off into several other languages and when they get caught up in a Jewish wedding while dodging the law and the outlaws.
But not all the “laughs” work, and the ending is odd, almost as though the scriptwriters simply ran out of ideas.
The credits identify Goldie’s character as Amanda Quaid, but that name isn’t used as all during the film. She’s always referred to as “Bluebird” or “Duchess.”
Directed by:
Melvin Frank
Cast:
George Segal … Charlie Malloy
Goldie Hawn … Amanda Quaid
aka “Bluebird” and “Duchess Stansbury”
Roy Jenson .. Bloodworth
Jerry Wills … Sheriff
Clifford Turknett … Ticket agent
David Thayer … Josiah Widdicombe
Conrad Janis … Gladstone, Widdicombe’s assistant
Sid Gould … Rabbi
Ellyn Stern … Wife at wedding
Peter Rachback … Husband as wedding
Richard Farnsworth … Stage driver
E.J. Andre … Prospector
Bloodworth Gang Members:
Robert F Hoy, Bennie E. Dobbins
Walter Scott, Jerry Gatlin
Runtime: 102 min.
Memorable lines:
Bloodworth gang member, about the banker’s wife: “Okay, Romeo, she’s up there. She’s fat. She’s ugly. And she’s bow-legged.”
Charlie Malloy: “You don’t have to whisper because she’s deaf too.”
Amanda Quaid, admiring the plight of Mormon women: “My, oh, my. One day on and six days off. Makes your mouth water.”
Charlie Malloy: “You’ve got some sense of humor. You are actually asking Charlie Malloy to pay for it?”
Amanda Quaid: “Well, a girl does have to keep body and soul together.”
Charlie: “Bluebird, I’ve never paid for anybody’s body and I’m sure as hell not putting up a red cent for their soul.”
Amanda: “Alright, Malloy, you never paid for it, and I never gave it away.”
Charlie: “So it’s a Mexican standoff.”
Charlie, after a narrow escape from a stage plummeting over the cliff: “Wow, what are we gonna do now?”
Amanda: “Why don’t you light up another one of your God damned cigars? I know just the place I’d love to shove it.”
Charlie: “Goodye, Duchess. Hello, Bluebird.”
Charlie, as Blackjack ignores their staked-out-in-the-sun plight, sprinting on past to chase a mare: “Can you imagine a horse being that horny?”
Amanda: “Only if it’s yours.”
Dirtwater: “I’m going after the money.”
Duchess, struggling to stay afloat in the rapids: “I can’t swim.”
Dirtwater: “Neither can the money.”
){kind=link}