Gene Wilder is Avram Belinski, a rabbi who graduated next to last in his class of 88 in 1850 Poland.
His reward: He’ll be sent to lead a congregation in San Francisco. And he’ll marry the eldest daughter of the congregation’s leader.
Which delights Avram to no end because, judging from a family photograph, she’s a busty beauty.
The problems begin when he arrives in Philadelphia only to discover that the boat that was supposed to take him to San Francisco has already sailed because of the gold rush.
Then he meets the Diggs brothers, who are in a similar situation, and agrees to pay $50 profit to a blacksmith to buy back the team and wagon they just sold.
In return, they’ll take him west in that wagon with them.
Except that they figure a rabbi who can fork over $50 so quickly must be well financed. So they conspire with the blacksmith to rob him along the way, then dump him off the wagon with nothing but the underwear he’s wearing.
He’s rescued by a cowboy named Tommy Lillard (Harrison Ford), who turns out to be a bank robber.
Lillard points the way west, then winds up guiding Avram to San Francisco.
Along the way, they encounter a posse, a band of Indians and meet up with those very same thieves again.
In fact, by the time he finally reaches San Francisco, Avram’s no longer sure he’s worthy of being a priest.
After all, he’s helped rob a bank, shot a man and, worst of all, rushed to rescue his Torah before trying to save the life of his new friend.
A pretty brunette — the youngest daughter of the congregation leader in San Francisco — helps change his mind.
Robert Aldrich made some good serious Westerns, The Last Sunset (1961) and Ulzana’s Raid (1972) among them. His attempts at comedy — this film and 1963’s “4 for Texas” — well, they’re not nearly as good.
This boils down to two unlikely buddies on a journey together, one a plucky new rabbi with no idea how to survive the West; the other a bank robber with too good a heart to let the rabbi fend for himself.
Unfortunately, it all seems more silly than comical, like when they’re being pursued by a posse and Gene Wilder’s character refuses to ride his horse because it’s a Saturday. Somehow the posse still doesn’t catch up.
Then Wilder’s character reaches San Francisco and a dark-haired beauty falls for him at first sight despite the fact that he’s much older, looks bedraggled, speaks in a phony cowboy dialect, says he’s a bank robber and turns out to be the rabbi. Huh?
That’s followed by a final showdown in which Wilder uses all the Western ways he’s learned from his bank-robbing friend.
It might make you laugh. If you’re a fan of Wilder or Harrison, just two years removed from “Star Wars” when this film was released.
If you aren’t, it’s more likely to make you groan. And it helps explain why this film was a box-office flop.
Directed by:
Robert Aldrich
Cast:
Gene Wilder … Avram Belinski
Harrison Ford … Tommy Lillard
Ramon Bieri … Mr. Jones
Val Bisoglio … Chief Gray Cloud
George DiCenzo … Darryl Diggs
Leo Fuchs … Chief rabbi
Penny Peyser … Rosalie Bender
William Smith … Matt Diggs
Beege ZBarkette … Sarah Mindl
Jack Somack … Samuel Bender
Runtime: 117 min.
Memorable lines:
Tommy Lillard: “Where were you born?”
Abram Belinski: “Poland.”
Tommy: “Is that near Pittsburgh?”
Avram: “No, that’s near Czechoslovakia.”
Tommy: “Oh, yeah.”
Avram Belinski: “How could you do this to me?”
Tommy Lillard: “It’s what I do. I’m a bank robber.”
Avram: “But you made me a bank robber.”
Tommy: “So what? You’ll get your half.”
Avram Belinski, with a posse on his trail: “I don’t ride on Saturday.”
Tommy Lillard: “Jesus! You give me the pee-doodles. There ain’t no Jews in that posse, you know? They’d as soon string you up on Saturday as any other day.”
Chief Gray Cloud: “What kind of God do you have?”
Avram Belinski: “Don’t say ‘my God.’ He’s your God, too.”
Chief Gray Cloud: “Don’t give him to us. We have enough troubles with our own gods.”
Avram Belinski, arriving on the West Coast after an arduous journey: “Who would have known it could be so simple?”
Avram Belinski, wrestling with Tommy on the beach: “You think a bank robber is stronger than God?”
Tommy Lillard, having arrived in San Francisco: “Hey, rabbi, do you think God sent me to show you the way?”
Avram Belinski: “Perhaps.”
Tommy: “I must be some kind of angel.”