The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Dean Cain plays smooth-talking Shea McCall, who wins a turkey in a shooting match in the town of Brazos, then wins half a ranch playing poker against the town’s longtime shooting champ, who badly wants that turkey.

The other half of the ranch?

That’s owned by no-nonsense B.J. Stoker (James Tupper), who has no desire to share anything with a dude from back East who learned his gun skills in a traveling circus.

They fuss. They feud. They fuss some more over the affections of Liz Calhoun (Allison Hossack), who yearns to be B.J.’s girl, but can’t get him to pop the question, and whose head is at least slightly turned by the fun-loving McCall.

They all soon find a common enemy: An exiled Mexican officer who has pulled together a band of about 500 soldiers and bandits with the intention of taking southern Texas in hopes of rallying even more men around him.

And B.J.’s ranch lies between his army and his ultimate target: Brazos.

Dean Cain as Shea McCall, who wins a turkey shoot, then half a ranch in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

James Tupper as B.J. Stoker, the rancher who finds himself in partnership with a gambler in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Review:

OK, let’s start with the film’s title. McCall is the gambler. Liz is clearly the girl.

The gunslinger? I supposed that’s Stoker, though he’s really much more of a rancher. But, hey, what’s accuracy for the sake of alliteration.

Unfortunately, like the title, the film doesn’t quite work. The grumbling between the leads gets tiresome. There’s a buildup to what appears to be a grand showdown between the bandits and the men at the ranch, but it never comes to fruition.

Speaking of which, the bandits camp never changes location over the course of the film, though they’re supposed to be driving northward. And the ending is downright groan-worthy.

Allison Hossack as Liz Calhoun, the widow B.J. loves in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Keith MacKechnie as Cal Stoomey, who loses his half of the Thundering Ranch in a card game in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Directed by:
Anne Wheeler

Cast:
Dean Cain … Shea McCall
James Tupper … B.J. Stoker
Allison Hossack … Liz Calhoun
Keith MacKechnie … Cal Stoomey
Michael Eklund … Red
John DeSantis … Mule
Teach Grant … Joker
Serge Houde … Marshal
Alejandro Abellan … Diego
Garwin Sanford … The General
Sheldon Yamkovy … Sergeant

Runtime: 90 min.

Raugi Yu as Cookie, cook for the Thundering Ranch crews in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Teach Grant as Joker, one of the hands on the Thundering Ranchs in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Memorable lines:

McCall, in greeting: “Mr. Stoker.”
Stoker: “Well, if it isn’t the soft-saddled, lilly-handed slime bucket.”
McCall: “I’d prefer if you used my given name.”
Stoker: “I intend to. On your grave marker.”

Stoker: “I’m not going to say I’m not holding the feelings for you. But Jim, he was my best friend, you know. He’s hardly cold in his grave.”
Liz Calhoun: “B.J., the man’s been dead for over three years. He’s as cold as he’s ever going to get.”

Liz Calhoun: “That’s what you aspire to be — a moving target?”
McCall: “Better than a sitting duck.”
Liz: “Lonelier too, I expect.”
McCall: “Not always.”

Liz: “There’s a fight coming, Mr. McCall. A big one. If you join in, those fancy clothes might not recover.”

John DeSantis as Mule, one of the hands on the Thundering Ranch in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Mexican General Pickard explaining his plans to invade the U.S. in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009) Does anyone know who plays this part?

Garwin Sanford as the general, planning to set up defense against the invaders on Thundering Ranch in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Allison Hossack as Liz Calhoun, stepping into the middle of a dispute between Shea McCall and BJ Stokers in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

James Tupper as B.J. Stoker, trying to explain himself to Liz Calhouns in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)

Dean Cain as Shea McCall, looking for the ranch he won in a card game in The Gambler, the Girl and the Gunslinger (2009)