The Last Rebel (1971)

Joe Namath of New York Jets fame plays Capt. Hollis, a rebel sharpshooter who flees with buddy Matt Graves (Jack Elam) at the end of the Civil War so they don’t wind up in a Union prison camp.

They rescue a black man (Woody Strobe as Duncan) from lynching, try to rob a stage, then see a chance to cash in on Capt. Hollis’s pool skills at Pearl’s house of pleasure.

That works wonderfully. But when Hollis slips $4,000 to Duncan for safe-keeping and gives the rest to pretty Pearl, Matt flies into a rage, vowing to get even.

He spends the rest of the film trying to get his share of the loot. And he’s offering a reward, so when he catches up with Hollis and Duncan, he won’t be alone.

Review:

Was everyone high when this plot was approved and this film was made? I mean, it must rank among the worst Westerns of all time.

At one point, the script has Elam talking about how the normally quiet Hollis starts spouting prose whenever he meets a pretty lady. Next long shot — Hollis and a pretty lady riding in the stagecoach, casting flirtatious glances at one another. Not a word is spoken.

Duncan, the black man being sought by nearly everyone, stashes the money Hollis won at the pool table in his shotgun because, hey, it isn’t likely he’ll need that for anything else.

And why does he have the money anyway? And why doesn’t Matt think he’ll get a share?

It”s a muddled mess, made all the more unbearable by Namath’s stupid smile and bed-hopping ways.

Directed by:
Denys McCoy

Cast:
Joe Namath … Capt. Hollis
Jack Elam … Matt Graves
Woody Strode … Duncan
Ty Hardin … The Sheriff
Victoria George … Pearl
Marina Coffa … Camelia
Aneemaria Chio … Madam Dupres
Renato Romano … Deputy Birgil
Michael Forest … Cowboy
Bruce Eweka … The black boy
Jessica Dublin … Ruby, Peal’s partner
Herb Andress … Lieutenant
Larry Lawrence … Bedroom man
Sebastian Segriff … Union officer
Al Hassan … Al the barman

Runtime: 90 min.

Memorable lines:

Rebel soldier: “You take pretty good care of that weapon, don’t you Hollis?”
Hollis: “Yeah. I guess I like something simple I can hold onto.”

Sheriff, in the middle of the afternoon: “You’d better have a good excuse for waking me up at this time of the day.”

Pearl to Capt. Hollis: “You look like you could shoot a pretty good stick.”

Pearl to Hollis: “It isn’t every day I put all I got on a man … It’s usually the other way around.”

Madam Dupres as she and her friend each rub their hands on Hollis’s legs at the dinner table: “Isn’t the meat tender enough, captain? I notice you’re not eating.”

Duncan, a black man in a saloon/bordello: “It’d be nice to use that front door just once.” Whereupon the slaoon is set ablaze, robbing him of that chance.