Kurt Russell and Tim Matheson reprise their roles as Morgan and Quinton Beaudine, brothers reunited after years apart and now searching for their sister, an Indian captive.
Only they get sidetracked when the run into a cattleman named Hatcher (Dan O’Herlihy), who’s had a run of bad luck but once saved Morgan and the Cheyenne band he was living with from starvation.
The Beaudine brothers agree to round up a misfit crew to help drive Hatcher’s herd to market.
Those misfits include an aging blacksmith (Woody Strode as Tucker), a cook with a fondness for booze (Keenan Wynn as Cooler), a former cowboy turned fast gun (Gary Lockwood as Lucas) and a young illustrator who needs to get out of town fast (John Rubinstein as Wakely).
And over the course of the difficult drive, the hard-driving Hatcher finds a heart and adopts the one employee who’s stuck by him (none other than Erik Estrada as the half-breed Santos) as his heir.
What makes the drive so difficult?
You name it: Rustlers, a stampede, a rattlesnake, a run-in with Indians and harsh weather that has the crew wondering if the cattle will ever make it to market.
The stink you smell isn’t from the cattle. This film has all the cattle-drive cliches, right down to the cook who doesn’t like to bathe.
And while our handsome young brothers, played by Russell and Matheson, are likeable enough, it’s no surprise that no one wants to work for Mathew Hatcher.
The only thing more annoying that Dan O’Herlihy’s performance in that role is the so-bad, it’ll-drive-you-mad theme music that cues up stock footage stolen from other, hopefully better, cattle drive films.
The most laughable scene: The cowboys are parched, about to give up. One muses that dying can’t be too bad; at least it’d be cooler. Suddenly, Hatcher hear’s the cows milling about. They must smell water. Sure enough, within seconds, they’re wading in a whole river full of water!
This originally aired as a two-part episode of the short-lived TV series The Quest, which ran on NBC, opposite Charlie’s Angels, and lasted just 11 episodes. The pilot was much, much better.
Directed by:
Bernard McEveety
Cast:
Kurt Russell … Morgan Beaudine
Tim Matheson … Quinton Beaudine
Dan O’Herlihy … Mathew Hatcher
Keenan Wynn … Cooler
Woody Strode … Tucker
Erik Estrada … Santos
Sander Johnson … Billy Don
Cooper Huckabee … Jeff
Gary Lockwood … Walter Lucas
John Rubinstein … Wakely
Angela May … Bess
Runtime: 89 min.
Memorable lines:
Mathew Hatcher: “What do you men today know about loyalty. Spend years with a man, then spit it out the window like a wad of tobacco.”
Santos: “Look, why don’t you sell out and sit down a few years? You could use the rest.”
Mathew Hatcher: “Sorry sight, that you have to see me like this, Two Persons. Not like the man you met when you were 10.”
Morgan Beaudine (aka Two Persons): “No. The man I met when I was 10 would never have felt sorry for himself.”
Morgan Beaudine (aka Two Persons) explaining his personal debt to Hatcher: “Quentin, I have to do what I can to help him. Would you even like me should I do otherwise?”