A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

A Tale of Two Guns (2022) DVD coverTom Berenger is Marshal Terrence McTeague and he and two deputies have cornered four Cowboys, members of a gang that’s been terrorizing the region.

In the hail of bullets that ensues, three Cowboys are killed. So are two deputies.

McTeague is wounded in his right arm. Only Abel Cruz (Casper Van Dien) rides off unharmed.

Unable to pursue Cruz because of his wound, McTeague brings in a renown manhunter named Artemis Hollinger (Ed Morrone).

Asked why he’d want the job, Hollinger says he loves the thrill of the chase.

Besides, it’s what he’s good at. And a way to make a living until the outlaws run out.

The Cowboys soon might. Cruz is the last of the red-sash wearing scoundrels.

And he’s bound for a remote region of Arizona where he hopes to buy land, set up a ranch and start a fresh life.

But it’s an area roamed by Apaches. And bounty hunters are also after the price on his head.

Casper Van Dien as Abel Cruz, the cowboy looking for a fresh start as an Arizona land owner in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Casper Van Dien as Abel Cruz, the cowboy looking for a fresh start as an Arizona land owner in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Ed Morrone as Artemis Hollinger, a manhunter who enjoys the thrill of the chase in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Ed Morrone as Artemis Hollinger, a manhunter who enjoys the thrill of the chase in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Rating 2 out of 6Review:

Berenger, seeming surprisingly spry in his early 70s, is the focus of the early scenes in this film.

But the two guns referenced in the title are Abel Cruz’s six-gun and Artemis Hollinger’s rifle.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a very well told tale, filled with too many pointless scenes, too much talk and and way too much poorly written dialogue for a film that relies on so much talk.

The lone scene involving Jeff Fahey and Danny Trejo is a perfect example. They’re sitting at a table advising Abel on which way to flee, though he’s already decided to head for Contention to purchase land.

Unfortunately, the problems don’t stop when the action begins. In a flashback segment, Hollinger takes on a man named Tanner in a face-to-face shootout. He hits him twice in the front of the torso. Bullet holes immediately show up in his back.

This marks the fifth Western directed by Justin Lee. “Badland” (2019) and “Any Bullet Will Do” (2018) remain the best of those efforts.

Tom Berenger as Marshal Terrence McTeague, closing in on his prey in a Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Tom Berenger as Marshal Terrence McTeague, closing in on his prey in a Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Dendrie Taylor as Elma McTeague, offering words of wisdom to her husband in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Dendrie Taylor as Elma McTeague, offering words of wisdom to her husband in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Directed by:
Justin Lee

Cast:
Tom Berenger … Marshal Terrence McTeague
Casper Van Dien … Abel Cruz
Ed Morrone … Artemis Hollinger
Judd Nelson … Capt. Mathias
Dendrie Taylor … Elma McTeague
Jeff Fahey … Bill
Danny Trejo … Junior
Randy Charach … Ben Mirkwood
Eddie Finlay … Virgil Montgomery
Griff Furst … Warren Drake
Jennifer Wenger … Doctor Hennigan

Runtime: 95 min.

Jeff Fahey as Bill, offering parting words of wisdom to Abel Cruz in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Jeff Fahey as Bill, offering parting words of wisdom to Abel Cruz in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Danny Trejo as Junior, suggesting flight to 'old Mexico' in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Danny Trejo as Junior, suggesting flight to ‘old Mexico’ in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Memorable lines:

Artemus Hollinger, to a man he’s tracking: “Tanner, you either run out of bullets or blood. It’s all the same to me.”

Bounty man: “I’ve got mouths to feed.”
Abel Cruz: “Those mouths won’t be able to feed themselves if you’re dead, friend.”

Dr. Hennigan, as she prepares to work on Abel: “Is your money good?”

Artemus Hollinger to Abel Cruz: “I am a peace officer from Tucson, and you are a criminal. I ask that you come with me peacefully as to avoid any bloodshed. More importantly, so I don’t have to drag your body through miles and miles of hard terrain. The stink on you alone is going to attract every wolf, mountain cat and fly for over 100 miles.”

Judd Nelson as Capt. Mathias, the officer who sells Abel Cruz his land in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Judd Nelson as Capt. Mathias, the officer who sells Abel Cruz his land in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Randy Charach as Ben Mirkwood, wondering why Abel Cruz plays poker in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Randy Charach as Ben Mirkwood, wondering why Abel Cruz plays poker in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Jennifer Wenger as Doctor Hennigan, offering Abel some pointers on settling in Arizona in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Jennifer Wenger as Doctor Hennigan, offering Abel some pointers on settling in Arizona in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Ed Morrone as Artemis Hollinger, on the hunt for yet another outlaw in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Ed Morrone as Artemis Hollinger, on the hunt for yet another outlaw in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Casper Van Dien as Abel Cruz, running into Apache trouble in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

Casper Van Dien as Abel Cruz, running into Apache trouble in A Tale of Two Guns (2022)

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