A cowboy named Horse is feeling lucky, so he heads down to the saloon for a few games of poker.
Turns out he wasn’t lucky at all and winds up losing all his money, plus a diamond that wasn’t his.
And when he’s a poor sport about it all, he winds up lying on the saloon floor in a pool of his own blood, shot dead by Champagne (Dejia McCowan), wife of the gambler named Titan (Tyler Burt), the man who won the diamond.
Sage (Kenneth Harvin), Horse’s brother, wants vengeance. Along with Zero, he kidnaps Champagne, figuring she knows something about what happened.
Meanwhile, Jess, Champagne’s sister, begs a gang of female outlaws to search for Champagne.
They agree, less out of a concern for Champagne than the notion that there might be more diamonds to steal.
All trails lead to a bordello run by Old Dirty Muthafucker (Jermaine Jackson), the owner of the diamonds and a man who plans to turn Champagne into his newest whore.
Tyler Bert as Titan, confronted about a missing diamond in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Jermaine Jackson as Dirty Old Muthafucker, owner of the Bordello in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Review:
Skip this, unless you’re really, really bored. In which case there are about 2,000 Westerns in this blog better worth your time.
With this film, you’ll get a occasional moment of campy fun. And a spirited performance by Jermaine Jackson as Old DIrty Muthafucker, owner of the bordello.
But the script is a convaluted mess even a narrator can’t help sort out and there’s absolutely no attempt at authenticity, with tattoos in plain view and modern shades hanging from the bordello windows.
The convergence of all the lead characters at the bordello for a final showdown could have been laugh-out-loud funny in the right hands. Here? You might chuckle. Might.
As the film closes, the narrator delivers the worst news. He and Old Dirty Muthafucker will be looking for revenge.
A sequel? Pretty please, no.
Dejia McCowan as Champagne, confused when she meets her husband’s girlfriend in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Brandon Bourgeois as Brunson, narrator and twice-shot saloon patron in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Directed by:
Felicia Rivers
Cast:
Tyler Burt … Titan
Dejia McCowan … Champagne
Kenneth Harvin … Sage
Khalid Russell … Zero
Jalan Z. Robinson … Horse
MJ Myers … Bartender
Mahogany Darkberry … Ann
Libby Williams … Madam Gloria
Allecia Monroe … Ruth
Victoria Mack-Baccus … Estella
Bee Badd … Mickey
Patrice Jennings … Biscuit
Tyeshia Frazier … Violet
Felicity Annalyce … Cali
Elaine Aikens … Jess
Jamel Saunders …. Jax
Jasmine Pilgrim … Sophia
EJ Rogers … Felipe
Darc Chain … Oliver
Jermaine Jackson — Old Dirty Muthafucka
Brandon Bourgeois — Brunson
Octavia Wolfe … Danni
Samantha McCoy … Ryan
Runtime: 78 min.
Kenneth Harvin as Sage, taking a two-gun approach to the search for a missing brother in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Khalid Russell as Zero, about to get a measure of revenge for Sage in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Memorable lines:
Narrator: “A hard head makes a soft ass.”
Champagne: “You see how they looked at us, Titan? Like they know what we did?”
Titan: “Would you stop being so paranoid? They lookin’ at you cause you’re fine as hell.”
Champagne twirls her six-gun.
Old Dirty Muthafucker: “I know your kind, Champagne. And like I said, when I find out — and I will find out — you been lyin’ ’bout that diamond, I’m gonna kill you myself. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?”
Champagne: “Yes, Old Dirty Muthafucker.”
Old Dirty Muthafucker: “Oh, I love it when you say my name.”
Bee Badd as Mickey, leader of the all-female gang out outlaws in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
Tyesha Frazier as Violet, a member of the all-female outlaw gang in Heartless Outlaws (2023)
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