Tedeum (1972)

Giancarlo Prete is Tedeum, named after a Christian hymn because his mother went into labor while trying to steal from the the collection plate at church.

He’s the shining star of the Manure family. So when a lawyer shows up with news that a scheming relative has left them a gold mine, the Manure family sends him West to scam someone into buying the worthless deed.

That’s where he meets Buck Santini (Jack Palance), another schemer who’s posing as a monk.

And they encounter two pretty young ladies — Betty (Francesca Romana Coluzzi) and Wendy (Mable Karin) — who have a mine of their own to sell with hopes of earning enough money to buy back the Southern estate their family lost in the war.

Tedeum, who falls for Wendy at first sight, and our friendly Monk sell the ladies’ deed for $3,000; then learn the women are pulling their own scam. The mine is a fake.

But back East, the Manure family gets a surprise. The mine Tedeum is trying to sell is really worth a fortune.

So they rush West, by way of a wagon turned into a boat, hoping to arrive in time to keep Tedeum from completing the sale.

Meanwhile, a businessman named Grant (Eduardo Fajardo) knows the truth and is doing everything possible to get his hands on that deed.

Giancarlo Prete (Timothy Brent) as Tedeum, dressed for success but still a scam artist in Tedeum (1972)

Jack Palance as Buck Santini, the pretend monk with a big appetite in Tedeum (1972)

Review:

There are some interesting ideas here. Two female shysters posing as fine ladies. A family rushing West by way of a wagon powered by a sail.

Betty busts heads with the best of them whenever a fight breaks out. And the climatic brawl takes place in an Old West bathhouse.

But it’s all poorly executed and plays like silliness piled upon silliness. Add Jack Palance hamming it up to his hammy heart’s content and it’s barely bearable.

The title has religious connotations. Tedious would have been a more suiting name.

The one scene that works: A tarantula crawls across Wendy’s hand. Tedeum grabs to a stick to smash it. And grabs a rattlesnake instead.

Francesca Romana Coluzzi as Betty Brown, teaming with Wendy to sell a worthless mine in Tedeum (1972)

Anna Suriani (Mabel Karin) as Wendy Brown, the pretend southern belle who catches Tedeum’s eye in Tedeum (1972)

Directed by:
Enzo G. Castellari

Cast:
Jack Palance … Buck Santini
Giancarlo Prete … Tedeum
as Timothy Brent
Lionel Stander … Stinky Manure
Francesca Romana Coluzzi … Betty Brown
Ana Suriani … Wendy Brown
as Mabel Karin
Eduardo Fajardo … Grant
Maria Vico … Ma Manure
Renzo Palmer … Rags Manure
Riccardo Garrone … Sheriff
Angel Alvarez … Bill, auctionerr

Also with: Miguel Pedregosa, Rocco Lerro, Dante Cleri, Giulio Massimini, Bruno Boschetti, Michele Spadaro, Carla Calò, Carla Mancini, Franco Borelli, Ettore Matti

Runtime: 102 min.

aka:
Te Deum
Con Men
Father Jackleg
Sting of the West

Music: Guido & Maurizio De Angelis

Eduardo Fajardo as Grant, trying to orchestrate the purchase of a valuable mine for a smidgeon in Tedeum (1972)

Lionel Stander as Stinky Manure, sure his inherited mine is a fake in Tedeum (1972)

Memorable lines:

Attorney Smith: “Can you tell me where Stinky Manure lives? I say, dear fellow, did you hear me? I’m looking for Stinky Manure.”
Townsman: “Follow that smell. Up that-a-ways.”

Ma Manure, to Tedeum, as he heads West: “Don’t forget, son, be careful. And don’t get yourself hanged. But if you do get hanged, send the money home first.”

Buck Santini: “I’m so hungry I could eat a Mormon with …”
Tedeum: “Ham, fat and beans.”
Buck: “Yeah, that would make a Morman taste better.”

Betty: “Can you monks marry?”
Buck: “No.”
Betty: “Protestant pastors can, you know?”
Buck: “I bet that’s when they really start protesting.”

Renzo Palmer as Rags Manure, Tedeum’s oft-confused dad in Tedeum (1972)

Maria Vico as Ma Manure finds someone new to smoke in her pipe in Tedeum (1972)

Trivia:

Character actor Lionel Stander plays Stinky Manure, Tedeum’s grandfather, in this flick. He appeared in many a Spaghetti, but was best known for playing the role of Max on the TV show “Hart to Hart.”

This marked Giancarlo Prete’s first starring role in a Spaghetti. He played supporting roles in “The Price of Death” and “A Fistful of Death” (both 1971) and would star in another Spaghetti comedy, “Three Musketeers of the West” the following year. He continued acting until the mid-1990s.

Angel Alvarez as Bill, the auctioneer taking directions from Grant in Tedeum (1972)

Ettore Mattia as attorney Smith, trying to deliver an inheritance to Stinky Manure in Tedeum (1972)

Riccardo Garrone as the sheriff, bound for a reunion of Texas sheriffs when he runs in two shysters on a train in Tedeum (1972)

Betty Brown (Francesca Romano Coluzzi) and Buck Santini (Jack Palance) get close during an arm wrestling match in Tedeum (1972)

Grant (Eduardo Fajardo) tussles with Ma Manure (Maria Vico) over the deed to a mine in Tedeum (1972)

Giancarlo Prete (Timothy Brent) as Tedeum, ready to carry on the Manure family tradition as a scam artist in Tedeum (1972)