The Last Days of Billy the Kid (2017)

Trouble is brewing in Lincoln County, New Mexico, in 1881, and it isn’t all related to the fact that Billy the Kid (Jason Cash) is on the loose and bounty hunters are congregating because of the price on his head.

The crooked Brigham Landon (Jerry Chesser) is in cohoots with the local banker to take control of the county, one business at a time.

They’ve recently moved in on a saloon owned by One-Eyed Lily (Jezibell Anat), prompting her to go to Marshal Ben Stanley (Stan Fink) for assistance.

Meanwhile, Pat Garrett (Cody McCarver) is trying to track down his son. That would be Billy! Pat’s warning: Head to Mexico. Otherwise, next time they meet, Pat will feel obligated to arrest him.

A saloon girl named Emma (Minxy Monroe) is the reason Billy’s so reluctant to leave. They decide to marry, then flee to south of the border. But will it be too late?

Review:

In the opening scene, a young cowboy walks into a bank that looks nothing like a bank, robs it, then very casually walks out. He’s promptly chased out the door by four gunmen who blow him away.

Wow, I’m thinking, perhaps that was Billy, going out in a blaze of glory because he’s grown so tired of fleeing posses and lawmen and bounty hunters. And the rest of the story will be told in flashback.

Nope, a Christopher Forbes’ Western could never be that clever. If you haven’t read it in my reviews of his other films, it bears repeating: Watch a Forbes Western only if you are absolutely desperate to watch a new Western. Even then, I’d recommend rewatching a Western classic. Or even a B film from the 1950s.

This silly take on the Billy the Kid story includes spirits from the past, a female bounty hunter, a one-eyed saloon owner, an 1880s Italian mob boss (I kid you not) and a handful of lawmen who look to old and fat to get on a horse, let alone enforce the law in a West that’s the least bit wild.

And instead of limiting the cast to the few members who seem at least a bit comfortable in front of a camera, Forbes seems to keep increasing the size of his casts, creating roles for actors and actresses who couldn’t land a lead in a community theater production. Piss poor cinematography merely adds to the mess.

Directed by:
Christopher Forbes

Cast:
Jason Cash … Billy the Kid
Cody McCarver … Pat Garrett
Jerry Chesser … Brigham Landon
Jezibell Anat … One-Eyed Lily
Minxy Monroe … Emma
Roger Letizia … Mac
Stan Fink … Marshal Ben Stanley
Terri Gibson … Cheyenne
Melvin Stewart …. Stewart
William Wylie …. Doc Wiley
Carlo Martini ….Polermi
William Adams … Watson

Runtime: 80 min.

Memorable lines:

Woman, after a bank robbery goes bad: “You shot Billy the Kid.”
Brigham Landon: “Well, he’s somebody’s kid, but he ain’t Billy.”

Pat Harrett, to a woman brought in by one of his deputies wearing nothing but a nightgown: “And that’s all you were wearing out there?”
Lucinda: “Sometimes I don’t even wear this. It depends. On my mood.”

One-Eyed Lily to Marshal Ben Stanley: “You think you can handle this? A dog ain’t safe in Lincoln County.”

Marshal Ben Stanley, about Landon: “What’s he done?”
Ms. Sheila: “He’s crooked. That man — he could swallow nails and spit out corkscrews.”

Billy the Kid: “Now where are we going to find a preacher to marry an outlaw and a saloon girl in a bar?”