Trinity and Sartana … Those Dirty SOBs (1972)

Harry Baird plays Trinity, who dreams of returning to his native Trinidad, if only he can raise the money to do so. Alberto Dell’Acqua is Sartana, the most recent in a long line of bandits. As such, he’s simply incapable of turning his back on loot that’s there for the taking.

The duo rob a bank. The duo play the ol’ turn-the-partner-in-for-a-bounty scam. Problem is, every time they have a small fortune in hand, Trinity hands the money over to some down-on-their-luck grape growers.

After all, he loves their wine. And he might be falling for the grape grower’s daughter, Martha. As least he makes reference to liking her curves.

So, penniless again, Trinity and Sartana set their sights on a stagecoach full of gold. And they might get an assist from a traveling salesman named Bud Benny Bud.

But an evil town boss named Burton wants the gold, too. And he has a henchman named Clyde and a Mexican bandit named El Tigre to help in his quest.

Review:

Clearly an attempt to cash in on the popularity of the Trinity and Sartana characters. But no one is likely to confuse Harry Baird for Terrence Hill. And Alberto Dell’Acqua’s blond-haired bandit isn’t anything like the black-clad Sartana’s we’re used to.

As for the film, it you like your Spaghetti Westerns to imitate cartoons, this might be for you. If not, well, you’ll probably quickly tire of a film that runs more than an hour and a half and doesn’t have enough funny lines or humorous scenes to sustain it.

Directed by:
Mario Siciliano
as Marlon Sirco

Cast:
Alberto Dell’Acqua … Sartana Smith
as Robert Widmark
Harry Baird … Trinity
Beatrice Pellegrino … Maribel
as Beatrice Pellh
Stelio Candelli … Burton
Dante Maggio … Bud Benny Bud
as Dan May
Ezio Marano … El Tigre
as Alan Abbott
Lars Block … Clyde
Enzo Andronico … Maribel’s brother, Clark
Daniela Giordano … Martha

Also with: Carla Mancini, Domenico (Mimmo) Maggio, Nino Nini, Romano Puppo, Enzo Maggio, Fortunato Arena, Giovanni Sabbatini, Nello Pazzafini, Osiride Pevarello, Renzo Pevarello, Riccardo Petrazzi, Claudio Ruffini, Sergio Testori, Gilberto Galimberti, Rinaldo Zamperla, Franco Daddi, Aldo Dell’Acqua, Dino Cassio, Sergio Smacchi, Alberigo Donadeo, Angelo Susani, Bruno Ukmar, Franco Ukmar, Lina Franchi, Luigi Ciavarro, Pietro Torrisi, Sergio Ukmar, Virgilio Ponti, Clemente Ukmar, Giancarlo Ukmar, Giovanni Ukmar

aka:
Trinity and Sartana are Coming
Trinity vs. Sartana
Relax Sartana, They Called Me Trinidad
Trinita e Sartana figli di …

Score: Carlo Savina

Runtime: 102 min.

Memorable lines:

Sheriff to Trinity, who’s black: “Both them horses you sold were stolen. But everyone says the thief was a fair-haired man. And no matter what kind of double-crossing son of a bitch you are, I know one thing is certain — you ain’t no blond, Trinity.”

Burton to Maribel: “God dammit, I wish you would shut up about those (fortune) cards. Just for once. Don’t you think I’ve got enough trouble when I’m surrounded by such brainless knuckleheads.”

Trivia:

This was one of four Spaghetti Westerns Harry Baird appeared in near the end of his career, before a bout with glaucoma forced his retirement. His final film was the 1975 Spaghetti, “Four of the Apocalypse.” Baird died of cancer at age 73 in 2005.

Daniela Giordano won Miss Italy at age 19 in 1966, went on to finish in the top three in the Miss Europe competition and soon found herself in films, including several Westerns. She was Sicilian, which made her facial features “perfect for being a Mexican” in Spaghetti Westerns, she explained in a 2016 interview.

While this comedy Western is forgettable, it is unusual in that it features an interracial romance between Baird, a black man, and Giordano, a white female. The closest they come to a love scene is a soft kiss on a beach in a “dream” sequence.